This video can go down in history as the greatest single thing to ever grace the YDN website. Five minutes of tight end Beau Palin doing various farm activities while wearing an American flag speedo with K’naan in the background. It was posted in Weekend by Beau Palin with a short intro to himself, so we’re unclear what, if any, role the YDN had in its production. We’re just glad it’s here.

We’ve been hearing rumors that bladderball may be making a comeback at 4pm today on Old Campus. A mysterious email that said only, “Bladderball is coming” and signed “The Piper”, has been circulating around some panlists. An anonymous source said he knows someone who helped buy the ball.

Since some of you may be too young to know what it is, Bladderball is a game where a large inflated ball is rolled through Phelps gate onto Old Campus. Each Residential College has a team and tries to take possession of the ball. Eventually someone pops it and people try to grab pieces of it and then everyone claims they’ve won, goes home, and celebrates their victory. Aren’t we democratic?

It was banned in the 80′s due to it but finally made a comeback in 2009. There aren’t really any rules. Colleges have used a meathook, a helicopter, and plenty of booze to capture the ball. The ball often travels off of old campus and was once rolled to the President’s house. The police usually get involved and Yale administrators hate it.

Our sources are very reliable, but it might happen and it might not. The administration will be doing everything in its power to get it to stop, but in the words of one Herald editor, “if it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen, but it wouldn’t be any worse than when cross campus tells us it’s chicken tenders day and there ain’t no tenders.”

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Picture courtesy Wikimedia Commons

If you have ever taken a class in HGS, you have probably already experienced Mama Yale’s menopausal state. The third floor rooms are either stiflingly hot or freezing cold. Some of the stairways leading to the basement are so hot and smell and feel like being inside a toasted everything bagel. Now you can get ready for your room and all your classrooms to alternate constantly between sauna and igloo. Enjoy.

There is some kind of event going on in Trumbull called “Rumbull in Trumbull” that is happening on Friday from 1 to 5. We have no idea what it is, but their publicity chair Sebastian Prokuskis is obviously really excited about it.

THE MANAGING BOARD OF 2013

Associate Editor: Sam Greenberg

Everybody makes mistakes. Unless she wrote this in invisible ink?

Now they’re getting married and got a feature in the NYTimes wedding section. We wouldn’t expect anything less from these two: both are children of “old Yale men” and her father is George E. Pataki, former governor of New York.

So don’t despair, freshmen! This weekend’s random hook up that you’re still stressing and over text-analyzing about could really turn into something. On the other hand, don’t just expect that the next person you kiss at Toad’s could be The One: it looks like these two actually had a fair amount of flirtation going on in class before their first toadskiss. And boys, take a hint from this guy and just text us:

Not long after the midterm exam, Ms. Pataki realized that Mr. Levy was a catch, too, and asked him to dance at a party at Toad’s Place, another New Haven bar. Then she kissed him.

“College has stratified levels of commitment and communication,” he said. “After we kissed, I knew to I.M. her.” They went out casually for the next two weeks. Then he went to her dormitory and asked her to be his girlfriend. “At that time we didn’t have Facebook to update our status, so official was nebulous,” he said.

This poster on old campus caught my eye yesterday. It has an adorable toddler on it and my biological clock is already ticking pretty hard, but when I looked harder I found something very disturbing… The ad is actually for a “hotbox,” which is apparently “for tobacco only ; )” And has some kind of bizarre cryptic info about “clams” which I am obviously not cool enough to understand. What disturbed person used a picture of a baby to advertise for a vaporizer?

Maybe they know the person who put up fake missing posters and turned them into a show advertisement!