Beta

A letter of apology to the residents of New York City on behalf of all Yale students

(credit: wikimedia commons)

(credit: wikimedia commons)

Dear New Yorkers,

We would like to formally apologize for being the impetus for the 15th Shake Shack.

According to Reuters, under New York City law, businesses with at least 15 establishments nationwide are required post caloric information on menus and menu boards in the same font and format used to display the name or price of the menu item.

So from now on, Shake Shacks across The City will have to post their calorie counts. But hey, at least they’ll be written in their swanky minimalist font!

We know. We all blissfully order our Shack Burgers, fries and signature shakes feeling somewhat good about the choice we’re making. With its small portions and fresh ingredients, Shake Shack sure seems healthy. However, as my ever-tightening jeans can attest, this is but a dream.

As it turns out, and as you will all internalize soon enough, Shake Shack’s menu is highly caloric. Who woulda thunk it?

The Wall Street Journal reports that a meal consisting of a double-patty ShackBurger, regular fries and a chocolate shake is just shy of 2,000 calories!

So while we’re apologizing for killing the dream, we’ll be accepting “thank you’s” from your spouses, kids, and debtors for the healthful years we’ve added to your lives.

Best,

The fattened students of Yale who as per New Haven and CT law, do not have calorie counts on our Shake Shack menu.