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BREAKING: Jay-Z and Yoncé to tour this summer

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Yup, it’s happening. The #WorldsACTUALMostTalkedAboutCouple is launching a tour that will start this June.

But beware: if you get tickets to a show, your future will be shrouded in grief. That concert will most definitely be your life’s peak. Marriage, children, or any major achievements will pale in comparison. Like if I get to see them perform “Drunk in Love” I swear my tears will turn to gold and my butt will fall off. I might explode after.

But it will be SO WORTH IT. Besides, I’ll probably explode into glitter or something.