If you’d just met Jade, you probably wouldn’t guess that she used to be an eyesore, and you would never know that she used to be a baby duck.
Jade is one of the few Yalies to have grown up in New York City, but even though her favorite food is apples (“no question”) she says she was happy to get out of the big one in which she was raised.
After ninth grade, Jade had grown weary of single-sex education. Her parents tried reasoning with her, assuring her that it was simply “a tough environment,” but Jade refused. I don’t think it wasn’t the principle of single-sex education that got to her, because when I told her I loved going to an all-boys school she said “yeah, well obviously. It’s all boys.”
Regardless, Jade enthusiastically welcomes the opportunity to live and learn with members of the opposite sex….Or does she?!?? As a new member of the PiPhi sorority, she appears to have withdrawn from the boycrazy ways of some female peers and decided instead to return to her roots.
Even worse news for young Yalies looking for their shot at love: She’s sworn off of Toads! “I didn’t know Wednesday night Toads was a thing slash I did but I had some bad experiences and made some questionable decisions,” she tells me.
As I was trying to learn more about the inscrutable Jade Ford, former Bullblog Crush of the Week, Michael Ressler, PC ’14, decided to interrupt. “Jade, who is your dream guy?” he asked.
“I like arrogant guys,” she told him, “which are pretty common here at Yale.” This explains why she spends so much time at SigEp and SAE.
Jade attracts the menfolk like moths to a flame. After she told me her plan to change her last name to Jaguar (if she had to choose another auto manufacturer), Jonny Barclay, MC ’13, Yale’s least eligible bachelor, sat down to scope her out. “Crush of the week?! I thought I was Crush of the Week!?” Barclay said, before asking Jade her favorite country in Western Europe. “Germany,” she replied candidly, and Barclay promptly stood up and left. Apparently it wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
I was amazed at all the attention Jade was getting, but she assured me it’s nothing new for her. Her first boyfriend sent her fifteen letters at summer camp, but she didn’t respond to any of them. The poor boy thought she wasn’t receiving them, so he pursued more desperate measures. “One [letter] came, and it was covered in stamps,” Jade recalls, “like, the whole thing.”
Jade’s not just a pretty face either: she’s involved in Model UN and YIRA. She says that David Mandelbaum, ES ’15, is a good boss, but she identifies two areas for him to improve. “He’s always asleep and he’s weirdly obsessed with a video of narcoleptic sheep.”
In closing, I ask Jade where she sees herself in ten years. “Regretting having had this conversation,” she responds. She’s smarter than she looks.
