Crush of the week: Natalie Ep

Natural beauty Natalie Epstein hails from Los Angeles, California­. “Ya heard of it?” She asked me. Oh, I’ve heard of it.

And that was only the start to the sassiest conversation with this classic sophomore Classics major. “Maybe cognitive science too… I’m interested in studying how people perceive me.” I could tell this babe was going to be pretty interesting.

When I told Natalie she’d been selected as the Bullblog’s Crush of the Week, she was hardly surprised:

“… Yeah, by everyone right?”

No, just me. I am the selectress.

“Ok then, can I reject the offer…? I don’t even know you.”

We established that yes, I am a creep and yes, I did “crush” her solely to meet her. And with that out of the way, we started to talk about her interests. She loves her improv group Purple Crayon and likes to spend time taking baths. Steamy. A favorite hobby of hers is “picking up tiny, tiny leaves.” I’m a stickler for details, so I inquired as to why.

“Well the ash trees… are the most beautiful trees in the forest. And you know that, because in the winter, the Ash trees go, ‘Ha Ha Ha…’ I don’t know if you get that reference, but its Lars Von Treeyary.”

That’s Lars Contriary? Larges Contrary? Lars and the Real Girl? Gosling? Gosling??

“Uhh yeah, Lars Vontriarys. One of my favorite filmmakers.”

When I asked about her thoughts on Lars von Trier’s newest film, Nymphomania, Natalie expressed that she was very uncomfortable when watching it, because von Trier actually based the movie on her life. Shocked, I jerked my head up from my notes, only to be confronted by the gaze of her baby blues/greens/teals. I had to mention them. They are beautiful! I clearly fumbled…

“Uh, my eyes? Carly, you know what? F this. Rumpus named me 50 most beautiful, and number one. They didn’t tell anyone else, but I was number one on the list, so they’re not going be very happy to hear I was even talking to another publication!”

So you’re exclusively endorsed by Rumpus?

“Clearly not. But I have no control over that–who endorses me–that is. Alright, I’m just gonna say it, the Herald and Rumpus are gonna have to duke it out.”

Hunger Games style? Doggie style?

“I don’t care what style!”

Natalie, the Katniss to the Bullblog’s Liam (we are NOT Team Peeta), is a diva of the highest order. We are waiting for YDN to confirm tournament brackets.

To wrap up my precious moments with Queen Natalie, I decided to test her wits with a game of word association.

Purple: “Egg.”

Blue: “Jean… Baabyyy…  I don’t know if you get that reference, it’s Lana del Ray.”

Vase: “The feeling you get… when you are about to turn a corner, and you KNOW you’re gonna run into someone.”

Daisy: “Ye-my… my… my own body.”

Tenderloin: “Tenderloin always stumps me…”


I had her at tenderloin, but she had me at hello. That’s all for our Crush of the Week, Natalie Epstein.

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