So, I live in Pierson, which is a great college, even though the two gates are a huge pain. I am a huge fan of the Slifka Center for Jewish Life which, apart from a whole host of religious and cultural enrichment, boasts really excellent food*. Like giant apples that don’t smell like pesticides and unbelievable cookies and lox and bagels at bagel brunch. However, there are a couple of problems that Slifka needs to address to bring it into the 21st century:

Get on the Yale Dining app. Like everyone else, I have the Yale Dining app on my phone, which, like everyone else, I use to aimlessly scroll through my daily options. Surprise, there are chickpeas. Surprise, Saybrook is empty. Surprise, Davenport at 6pm is jam-packed. However, Slifka is not on the app. If we had Slifka’s information at our fingertips, we would know a) what time to go to Shabbat dinner to avoid that awkward moment when you and your six friends have to split up and b) whether they’re serving bagel pizzas for lunch.

Tell us when bagel brunch is. We live in a world full of impressive modern amenities, such as http://www.isitchickentendersday.com. But, when I try to go to http://www.isitbagelbrunchday.com, I get an error message. Yes, bagel brunch is theoretically every other Sunday, but if you skip it once, you’re thrown off forever. Also, it’s not really every other Sunday. There was an awkward time when I called Slifka on the walk over from Pierson (11 minutes, according to Google Maps**) and learned that there was in fact no bagel brunch for the second week in a row.

So Slifka, spare us Piersonites the pain of having to walk through that no-man’s land between the gates in search of a bagel that doesn’t exist. Digitize now.***

*I am not Jewish.
**3 hours, according to Apple Maps
***Even theantiyale can’t disagree with this one!