Housing application season is upon us! Times like these jeopardize even the most meaningful of friendships formed in the basement of ADPhi. With issues arising over rooming arrangements and how many cats the suite is to house, the bonds of friendship will undoubtedly be strained. Most distressing is deciding who gets the single. Everybody needs one, but exhaustive scientific research has revealed that most people will land in a double.
If you actually need your own space for health reasons, the stand-alone medical singles are supposed to be quite luxe. If, however, you’re just a selfish misanthrope incapable of cooperating with others (or you just love drama), you’ll have to get creative with your reasons for requiring a single. Eavesdropping on Old Campus has provided me with a few gems ranging from “I suffer from crippling affluenza and might accidentally kill you in your sleep” to “my psychic foresaw me finally getting a boyfriend, I’d hate for you to be the third wheel.”
Rooming drama is like dining hall food— while you may claim to hate it, you secretly hoard stale cookies to later eat in the privacy of your own bed and/or bathroom. Embrace this inherently chaotic and stressful process, it’s food for the soul.