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Horrible Harvard people in history

Suffering from a shortage of school spirit?  Need something to pump up your hatred of Harvard before the Big Day?  Yeah, we didn’t think so.  But still, there’s a time for everything, and the time to bash Harvard is always, so here’s a short list of horrible people associated with the big H that will rile up your anti-Crimson rage–and make you feel better about attending George Bush, George W. Bush, and John C. Calhoun’s alma mater.

1. Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin, and Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss

This movie made everyone look like douchebags.  It’s convenient for us to believe that they were douchebags in real life too.

2. Larry Summers

The Harvard president from 2001 to 2006 stirred up controversy, clashing with African-American Studies superstar Cornel West, garnering allegations of financial conflict of interest in his relationship with economist and faculty member Andrei Shleifer, and implying in a 2005 speech that the under-representation of women in science and engineering might be explained by “different availability of aptitude at the high end.”  Oof.

3. Darren Aronofsky and Natalie Portman

Don’t pretend you weren’t deeply disturbed by nail clippers and “yummy” pink cake for three months after seeing Black Swan.  It’s their fault!

4. Sixty-two living billionaires

There’s an 84.9% chance that your five least favorite living billionaires went to Harvard.*

5. John Harvard

Because without him there’d be no Harvard.  And no crappy restaurant chain with way over-cooked hamburgers.

*Disclaimer: Daddy Warbucks went to Yale.