In the invite, he lays out the basics of their chemistry: he likes fine dining, she likes fine dining; he reads Sports Illustrated, she was just on the cover of Sports Illustrated—but the similarities don’t stop there. I hear he likes nice cars, and so does she. I hear that they both like the Lakers, that they were at the same Skrillex concert, and that they both like going to this one resort— The Carlisle— in Antigua.
Los Angeles private schooler might get what he wants
Jake Davidson loves bad bitches, that’s his fucking problem. Too bad none of them go to his Los Angeles Jewish private highschool. So who was he going to take to prom?
When I say Jake likes bad bitches, I really mean it: he likes the hottest girls. Like Beyonce-, Megan Fox-, Selena Gomez-hot. One time, he was like: Leighton Meesterr is so hot, and I was like oh my God dude— you always know! I’m telling you—he knows. But the girl he decided to invite to prom is really the hottest model ever: Kate Upton—straight FLAMES. Obviously, she’s (only) 20, and not Jewish, so she doesn’t go to his school. But Jake’s mad smart and so he was like I don’t have your number, I have never met you at a Valley party but whatever, I’ll just use Youtube. Such a Duh.
Jake knows the internet, so he knew that if his video got enough views, she couldn’t say no. And guess what guys? She said she’d check her schedule! Get ready for an awesome prom dude!