In the words of the great Hot Chelle Ray:
“It’s been a really messed up week/seven days of torture/seven days of bitter.”
But those seven days were actually 10-14 days, making it even more bitter and more tortuous. Luckily, tonight it all ends. It all ends for all of us.
This afternoon, I felt honored to receive a personalized E-vite to the a cappella community’s baby shower, beginning precisely at 9:55 p.m. But, like all things a capella, it was in a capella language, something I happen to speak, although I never intended to (think Harry P and his Parsel T). Allow me to decode their message, and other tap night rituals.
“Before the broom drops”: The E-vite specifically mentions that this exclusive affair will start “before the broom drops” at 9:55 p.m. Notice the particular start time. That means that this event is shrouded in intrigue, but if you think about it, it’s really the same as starting the thing at 10:00 p.m. or at 9:56 p.m. I still don’t entirely understand what “before the broom drops” means, but am assuming like most a capella lingo, it basically means nothing.
“Baby shower”: Don’t be tricked into thinking that the event is just calling itself a “baby shower.” There’s actually a real reason for the name—it isn’t just an arbitrary event that the message’s author chose in an attempt to be funny. Rushes, make sure to be completely naked with a pacifier in your mouth. When you are officially tapped, your group will give you an exclusive t-shirt so you won’t have to run around Old Campus completely nude.
“Having fun”: This phrase will be thrown around a lot throughout the course of the night, but don’t let it trick you. In this context, when somebody says that they’re “having fun,” they are not actually referring to the sensation you think they’re referring to. Think more of the opposite of what you think they’re referring to.
So kids, get your war paint on and lace up those running sneakers, because it’s tap night, and all the baddest bitches of New Haven will be sprinting across Old Campus/campus proper singing and screaming and screaming and singing.