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What you really need to know about “Halloween Candy”

credit: businessinsider.com

Halloweekend is over. Now we can finally focus on the true meaning of Halloween…making people give you treats or making them feel the wrath of your tricks (the choice is theirs). I’ve decided to review some of the candies that you might come across while trick or treating this Halloween.

Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups—Jackhammer.

Skittles—GTFO, these were never good. Stop acting life they are.

Laffy Taffy—PEOPLE WHO LIKE LAFFY TAFFY ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED

Twix—See Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups

Mounds—I’d like to meet the fool that is keeping Mounds in business and give him a knuckle sandwich.

Kit Kat—Kit Kats are the Candy equivalent of the kid who drinks whole milk at lunch. Stay away.

Candy Corn—The only real “Halloween Candy”. All of the other candies listed are just regular year-round candies trying to step on Candy Corn’s swag. Also, why is it cool all of a sudden to hate on Candy Corn. This is like what happened to Anne Hathaway. But hey, last time I checked Devil Wears Prada is still as relevant as ever. Tucci!

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