Paul Giamatti, famous for thick rimmed specs and general awesomeness, is coming to Yale on Friday! If you’re in Pierson or the Yale Film Society (or both), your chance to see him is greater than everyone else’s by 0.001%! Well, at least the rest of us can bask in the reflected glory of this Master’s Tea. Here are some reasons you should beg/plead/pray to the lottery gods to see him.
· He graduated from Yale (B.A., 1989; M.F.A., 1994) and was allegedly/ potentially/ rumors swirling in Skull & Bones, something he has denied publicly.
· His father, A. Bartlett Giamatti, was president of Yale (who knew Yale had presidents before President Levin, right?)
· He was awesome in Cinderella Man, American Splendor, and most importantly, John Adams (if you’re a colonial history nerd like I am)
· He wore hipster glasses before they were cool.
In midterm season, even a short video can be a relaxing break from the dreariness. So enjoy this new trailer for the upcoming HBO series “Girls,” written by Tiny Furniture lady Lena Dunham and starring Allison Williams ’10 as one of the “ladies,” as they’re called at one point in the clip. We are very excited, (the freaks and geeks mom!! and young female leads!!), although the trailer does remind us a little bit, at points, of a very very fancy “Shit Girls Say” video.
Holy midterms, we are aggressively eight days away from spring break, despite the fact that it’s still shopping period in my head. Apparently it’s true though, and that means it’s time for a list of the things you probably thought you’d have done by now:
1. Any reading.
How does this happen every semester? Midterms arrive and it dawns on you that you haven’t actually opened a book or purchased the coursepack.
2. More laundry.
The clean clothes from break never last as long as you think they will, do they?
3. Figured out the “perfect” summer.
Over winter break we all fantasized about that perfect summer blend of fellowship-funded personal soul searching, hanging with friends, traveling abroad, earning money, or just getting hired at some shiny “firm.” How’s that going for you? Eight days from spring break, prospects are usually a little more “idealist” than ideal.
4. Settled in.
Unlike the walking marathon that is the first gazillion weeks of fall semester, spring just kind of flits by without committing. I guess it’s better (?) bottom line, but I can’t help but feel a little bit like this time of year is just about planning for things at least four months away.
Everyone’s favorite Wenzel delivery mode has suddenly metastasized into a surprisingly legit website where we can indulge both our unhealthy lifestyle choices and characteristic Yale laziness! Now, you can have not only a Wenzel delivered to your room, but a wide variety of menu options from a plethora of delectable New Haven eateries, including The Little Salad Shop, Thai Pan Asian (Is it Thai? Is it Pan Asian?), China King, Zaroka, and Brick Oven Pizza. You also can order GHeav bacon, egg & cheese’s, A1 Buffalo chicken grinders, and Yorkside chicken tenders for pick up ahead of time. And–no joke–Crunch Button will deliver cheese fries and 5 condoms to you from Alpha Delta! (Who needs frocos?)
It’s exciting that this whole create-a-Yale-website frenzy has finally produced something worthwhile, but I won’t say there isn’t a part of me that misses the simplicity, elegance, and alliteration of the old site. R.I.P., One Button Wenzel–you were loved.
Are you a better roommate than her?
As the housing draw fast approaches, it’s time to ask yourself this most essential of questions. If soul-searching and self-awareness isn’t your thing (it’s probably not: you’re a Yalie), look no further than this helpful Bullblog QUIZ, which will objectively and beyond the shadow of a doubt reveal for you whether or not YOU HATE YOUR SUITEMATES!
1.) Do you purposefully make messes/leave food out to irritate your suitemates/roommate?
A. Of course not.
B. Yes.
2.) Have you ever staged a fake sexiling scenario in order to get some time alone from your suitemates/roommate?
A. No what a dick move!
B. Yes.
3.) Have you ever slept in your suitemates’/roommate’s bed out of spite?
A. No…that’s really fucking weird.
B. Yes.
4.) Do you know your suitemates’/roommate’s name(s)?
A. Duh!
B. Yeah…it starts with a J? Jasper? Ummm, Jamaica?
5.) Do you talk to your suitemates/roommate?
A. Yes.
B. No.
Mostly A’s: You don’t hate your suitemates/are a human being! Stay the course next year.
Mostly B’s: Yup, you hate your suitemates. Definitely find new people to live with next year/would you maybe consider transferring out of Yale? Because it kind of seems like you’re a douche.
Most of these events are probably far too exclusive for you to have been invited to, but I really don’t want to come off as boastful. I intend it more in the style of an “E! True Hollywood Story,” in that you’ll be enamored of my fanciful ways, but realize that, hey, it ain’t easy being famous. (Or in my case, being Facebook friends with people who think it’s acceptable to leverage our Facebook friendship for the benefit of their favorite extracurricular organization.)
First up, the ASA Finance and Economics Series! I’ve been looking forward to this one since Thanksgiving, and it’s finally here! Do you know what the ASA is? I sure don’t, but they had me at “Finance and Economic Series!” Yeah, baby!
Then there’s an event that’s just called Translations. Sign me up!
Thursday’s pretty booked. I was already planning to skip section for Terrorism in Nigeria, but then I got invited to Betrayal. So much fun, so little time… I would compare it to my choice between Sam’s and Josh’s Bar Mitzvahs, but I wasn’t invited to Josh’s!
And then, as if Friday wasn’t thrilling enough already, I got that invite to Snowboarding at Yale. Cha-ching!
And it goes on and on and on.(Cruz 2010) But you’ll have to excuse me. Apparently I have a friend who changed his name to Rainbow Dash, and it’s his birthday. Time for a wall post!
Instead of giving us the day off, Yale decided to celebrate the holiday by uploading a Facebook album called “Happy Presidents Day,” which contains Yale-related images of American presidents, like a photo of George W. Bush as a freshman (above), or of Gerald Ford as a JV football coach. The photos themselves are, for the most part, not super interesting, but the comments are gold, and mostly from people with no apparent Yale affiliation. For example, Aleksander Konrad Posielski provides this illuminating commentary on WIlliam Howard Taft: “William Howard Taft was a good guy, he opposed a central bank. However his successor, Woodrow Wilson was the worst thing to happen to this country.” Thanks, Aleksander.
(Image courtesy of the Yale Manuscripts & Archives Digital Image Database.)
IDEA: I will cook myself a giant, delicious meal every day. FACT: Yes, I will do this. That’s, like, the main reason why I’m moving off campus. What do you mean I won’t have time to do it? I’LL MAKE TIME, DARN IT!!!!
IDEA: Longer commutes to campus won’t matter. COLD, HARD TRUTH: Yeah, obviously they won’t. What’s an extra five minutes to class each morning? That’s nothing, and it won’t make any difference to me, even in January or February.
IDEA: Cleaning my bathroom, paying for utilities, and dealing with issues that come with renting a home will not affect my life. FACT, PRESENTED OBJECTIVELY: Nope. They won’t.
Get excited, folks, it’s smooth sailing ahead!
This is the first image that came up when I searched Google Images for "renting an apartment."
In honor of President’s day, I thought it an apt time to do some “major research” (read: some seriously creepy internet stalking) on our own President Richard Levin. Below is a compilation a few of the gems I encountered in my “research”; feel free to add your own in the comments of this post. Naturally, like all semi-legitimate holidays during the academic year, classes will be on a normal schedule, and less than half of the student body will realize today is an actual national holiday. Try not to go too crazy for today’s holiday, ya’ll!
So if you’re a true, loyal Yalie, you will stop talking about Jeremy Lin. You will stop posting funny memes about him or making clever puns riffing on his name. You will check the urge to publicly celebrate his success and replace that next Jeremy Lin status with “Cole Porter was the wittiest composer for the early musical theatre!” or “William Howard Taft was probably the best president from 1909 to 1913!”
(We work with what we have.)
Yale Geology Professor Ross Mitchell has predicted that in 50 to 200 million years, all the continents will join to form a super continent near the North Pole. Let’s ignore the fact that Professor Mitchell predicts that humans will be long gone by then to consider how awesome this would be. First, those Coca Cola commercials where the polar bears and the penguins hang out can come true!! No longer will the annoying people next to you at the movie theater be able to make snide comments about the North Pole vs. the South Pole–in Amasia, you KNOW everyone’s going to be hanging out and tossing each other Coca Cola bottles. Second of all, Yale life will undergo an amazing transformation. For proof, take a look at some examples of current conversations and future-Amasia conversations.
1.) Selin Courtyard, Sterling Memorial Library.
This place has it all–moonlight, privacy, and cherubs peeing into a fountain. Ahh, l’amour.
2.) The top of Harkness Tower.
This probably only works if you’re a carillonneur, but it’d be sick.
3.) Chocopologie.
This may or may not be a thing. Either way, everyone loves chocolate (especially if they’re alone on Valenitine’s Day).
4.) Toad’s.
I’m using “romantic” loosely. But in Toad’s defense, it’s probably been the site of more “romance” than any place else in New Haven.
5.) Your bedroom.
Enough said.
This morning, mixed in with my regular spam, was an invitation to “Join the Circa Circus.” Apparently, a group of Yalies (…I would assume they’re Yalies…) designed a website that allows you to chat online with people in the same room as you. “If you’re bored in SSS114,” the email explains, “you can logon and talk smack about your professor.” Really? “Talk smack”? Is that a thing? Also, does anyone else think it’s weird to talk to random strangers in the same room as you? As opposed to, like…. gchatting one of your friends. Or even someone you know peripherally. Sorry, Circa, but I’m not really feeling this.
