Incoming: Move Zeus. See you later Aphrodite (hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, girl). We’ve got some hot new Greeks in the spotlight at Yale’s sororities. Freshmen and sophomores who’ve been running through rush can finally finish posing for group pics and take a seat—and not at a rush meal but at the real table at their respective frats or sororities, or with the beloved friends who have been their pit crew for the race to Greek heaven. Or, Elysium, which is what they call Greek heaven in Gladiator. But anyway, all the rush pressure gone opens space in your G-cals for trying other new and exciting things: Blue State’s Chai Hot Chocolate, IM Bowling, homework or the mental battle of whether to email or not to email your professor that you can’t make class today due to being frozen with fear of going outside into this merciless New Haven January.
Outgoing: Who needs a sun-kissed tan when you can have the snow-covered glow of a merciless New Haven January? Me. My melanin count has plummeted and my skin pigments have forgotten what the sunlight is. In fact, each time I step outside I forget what warmth feels like and I am greeted with the most mind-blowing sensation of body heat when I fight my way onto the Yale Shuttle (a comfort soon to be thwarted by the ten second walk from the bus inside a building, which is still too much time outside). Let’s make warmth INCOMING next week! Let’s bring back the heat! (My suggestion on how to go about this: group cluster or march of the penguins walks up Science Hill leaving every ten minutes from Commons. Steps should be synchronized to minimize space between each body in order to maximize body heat absorbed. Positions should cycle so those on the outside do not icicle.)