Beta

Cred/D/Fail: February 7, 2014

Cr: Snowstagrams

When it snows here, my Instagram feed shuts the fuck down. My first instinct? You people disgust me. There’s something that irks me about the flood of pictures of Yale. It’s too easy, and I prefer Instagrams that come from a place of great darkness and pain. But, as they probably aren’t going anywhere, I decided to finally give something on Instagram some “further thought.” After some deep self-reflection, I realized that I am the real issue here. When presented with dozens of actually awesome pictures of snow-covered gothic buildings, I got upset because their looking cool was just too easy. These are tight buildings covered in tight snow. Bulldog Days Andrew Goble would have eaten this up. You’ve got my double-tap.

D: Talking about talking about finance interviews

When I see people in nice-looking suits strutting around campus with their “I’m wearing a nice-looking suit” walk, my first instinct is to rely on every think piece I’ve ever read and turn my nose up on these sociopath demon-children. Finance is bad, consulting is bad, dinner discussions about the aforementioned sentiments satiate the fragile ego of mine, an ego that happens to major in American Studies. That being said, many people interviewing are sweet souls with lots of genuine reasons for going into these careers, and the complainers quickly became more annoying than the complainees. If I have another conversation about something no one in the conversation is doing, I’m gonna lose it.

F: Sochi

Listen, Sochi: I’ve got nothing but respect for well-executed corruption. I was excited when I first heard about the $51 billion budget because most of the events take place on frozen water—this was gonna be a gold mine. But it’s a disaster, all because Russia forgot the basics of Corruption 101. You wanna make sure the journalists are not staying in shitty unfinished hotels because, you know, their job is to report stuff. Give them Continental Breakfast; be artificially optimistic about the future of print media—basic shit. If you can’t provide them with a finished hotel (construction is hard, after all), make sure they don’t have internet. Most importantly, you always want to skimp out on providing the better life you promised the global sports extravaganza would bring to the people who actually live in the host city (see: South Africa, Brazil, Brazil). You people make me sick.