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Cred/D/Fail: March 6, 2014

Cr

Cr: Lupita Nyong’o

Okay, maybe this is an obvious one, but come ON. There have been nine Buzzfeeds devoted to her in the last week alone. She was actually dressed like Cinderella at the Oscars and apparently she helped design her dress and then she won and it was perfect. She also paid Ellen for pizza in lip balm and did a little dance with Pharrell and I’m pretty sure her speech made Brad Pitt cry–plus it included that stellar Yale School of Drama shoutout that made everyone on campus freak out because, like, we share something with her. Also, apparently Brad and Angie low-key surprised her with a birthday cake the night before. I mean seriously, the woman has literally managed to usurp JLaw’s position as America’s sweetheart/obsession and that is a pretty hefty accomplishment. There are Lupita cover photos all over Facebook, Lupita #womancrushwednesday posts all over Instagram, and right now, it’s not even Wednesday. I get the feeling that this crush is not going anywhere.

 D: Lent

I understand that Lent has deep religious significance for some people, and for others it’s just a good time to work on self-control. But seriously it would be great if people could stop giving up Facebook because backstalking you/myself is genuinely my favorite hobby and this trend is making me very nervous. I’m sorry, but it’s an unspoken rule that you have a profile for me to stalk, seriously please stop it. You’re breaking college. And if you give up “all junk food” (haha what) and TV, who is going to SVU-popcorn binge with me?! I’m not trying to peer pressure you but you’re getting really boring. Okay, I most definitely am peer pressuring you. Because honestly, you giving up “talking shit about people” equals 40 excessively dull days for me.

 F: “What Would You Do for a Wenzel?”

 “What Would You Do for a Wenzel?” Um, not much, YCC. Shit, I don’t really even like Wenzels. I mean, they’re pretty good but also kind of overrated (don’t kick me out pls ah I’m so so sorry). But come on, I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. Realistically they should be like four dollars cheaper, I guess I’d pay approximately six dollars for a Wenzel. What I will not do is submit a picture of me licking the bathroom floor or walking naked through Bass or killing a man or whatever else people are considering. Maybe it feels kinda weird to say, but my dignity is actually worth more to me than this one particular sandwich. Except that a friend offered me “ONE MILLION DOLLARS” one night to save her half(!) a Wenzel, so I can’t actually say this contest is coming out of nowhere.

  • alipro

    EK loves wenzels