CREDIT: Happy lamps
Vitamin D drops and whatever else floats your seasonally depressed boat. For example, wear what you want as long as it makes you feel good. Pink floral skirts without tights underneath. Hair still wet from the shower. And when you slip and drop your caseless computer because your ankle boots were made in and for LA winters, just pop back up and thank your lucky stars for that youthful spryness. You might be walking around all day thinking, “I can’t live like this,” but at least you’re not letting weather take away your agency, you know? Just your capacity to feel feeling in your face. It’s important to complain about the weather five to seven times a day to remind yourself that a high of 25 is an unacceptable and unsustainable standard of living, and that you deserve much, much better. But avoid boat-sinking mechanisms like checking the weather in California or Hawaii. Just get that light therapy and Vitamin D supplement on—and don’t underestimate the gravity of hang time with your people, the ones who remind you that there’s warmth in the world.
D: Misleadingly sexy class titles
You know the ones. If you talk about registering for it at a dinner party while trying to make small talk, people’s voices get high and excited and kind of jealous. But then when you’re actually in the class trying to survive it, the voice in your head gets bored and anxious and kind of vacuous. It’s like this girl I once knew named Dylan who sucked, but everyone expected her not to because it was 2005 and Dylan seemed like an awesome name for a girl. A poop by any other name smells just as poopy, and a bad lecture by a glamorous name makes you think it’s sweeter, but you can (surprisingly frequently) end up wasting multiple hours a day of your brutish shopping period because there weren’t evals and at some point it just gets too awkward to bail. Shopping period is hectic enough, we don’t need nominal deception in the mix too.
FAIL: Ungrateful bitches
Here’s a pointer: if you’re an ungrateful bitch, don’t brag about being an ungrateful bitch loudly in the coffee shop where a Herald writer is working on this section. Don’t complain about the pain of having to choose five of eight wonderful seminars you got into, don’t chat in public about how you would totally use a Nalgene but that’s just, like, so inconvenient to carry around, and, you know, it’s just like they’re all so fugly, and don’t gloat about never needing Yale’s help with anything. In each of those eight seminars, five kids just like you got rejected for every one that got in. Seriously no one wants to hear about your or anyone else’s support of Poland Spring plastic. And not needing to use Yale resources constantly doesn’t mean they’re not great. Did you guys know that you can request a scan of any portion of any book in the entire Yale Library system and they’ll email it to you the next day? Have you looked at the fellowship and grants website?? Have you even looked at OCI, ever???