Index: Vladimir Putin’s week

29 – missed calls from Comrade Steve Bannon

3 – photoshoots of Putin bareback riding the same thoroughbred stallion

2 – handles of vodka confiscated from Putin’s carry-on bag at gate of Hungarian Airlines flight to Budapest

84 – Tweets sent in 24-hour period by Putin’s second Twitter account @realdonaldtrump

1 – Siberian tiger brought to the Russian president as goodwill gesture from Ukrainian consulate

1 – visit, by Putin, to Moscow State Hospital immediately following encounter with tiger


29 – Russian hacking team accidentally leaks Putin’s voicemail inbox

3 –

2 – Closed-circuit airport footage showing an embarrassed Putin meekly confessing sins to airline staff

84 – log lists Tweet location imprint as Kremlin’s IP address

1 – Photo of Putin attempting to bareback ride tiger shows the tiger’s visible displeasure

1 – Hospital inpatient record lists Putin as “irate but in stable condition”

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