[Ken Burns music playing in background]
Okay, this is “Poems About Food I Found at My House After Coming Back From Thanksgiving Break.”
I’m not sure when I first met you.
Are you from the buttery? Or perhaps Salsa Fresca.
The answers to this question, and to many others, are lost forever,
lost to time.
Shrouded in mystery.
I see that I took a bite out of you,
but why did I put you back in the fridge,
Now you are disgusting.
Are these still ok to eat?
Angelo, do you think I can still eat these eggs? I’m kind of hungry.
Yea I agree. Maybe I’ll just break one and smell it?
[Pause] I feel like—I feel like I need protein, I’m gonna go for it.
Oh, wait, these are Jack’s eggs.
Dino Eggs Oatmeal
Oh my god, I forgot I had these, perfect!
They’re not expired, are they?
They’re good until 2025.
That doesn’t seem normal.
Anyway, these are amazing. My chicken eggs may have expired, but these guys survived a meteor that killed off the other dinosaurs.
And they survived Thanksgiving break.
The best part is you don’t need to add anything to this oatmeal. It is an oat-MEAL. The finished product.
Song courtesy of FreeMusicArchive – “Robo Crambo” by Doctor Turtle