1. Whoever sends the Toad’s e-mails.
2. Theta photographer—Who knew getting 100 girls to stick their germ-infested fingers in their mouth would be so easy?
3. YDN op-ed writer—Insult an athlete, trigger the entire student body.
4. Section asshole—You know that guy who stands in the front of the class, leading discussions and grading your problem sets? Oh wait…
5. Entryway condom restocker—Let’s be honest: This is the closest you will get to losing your virginity.