5. Dress sophisticated AF to the tours. Hold coffee. Preferably Starbucks.
4. Dress slooty AF to the tours. Hold hard cash. Preferably Benjamins.
3. Agress the landlords. Fax and/or call them at home. Leave a message with the family, if possible.
2. Find out everyone else who’s vying for the apartment you want. Cyberbully them, because everyone loves a ruthless schemer.
1. Build a sustainable glass house in the center of the Green, because that’s so innovative, they can’t tear it down. Occupy New Haven.