Top 5 worst things you did on Groundhog’s day that you’ll now have to repeat for the rest of your life:
5. Googling “good internships.”
4. Buying all the Big League Chew in New Haven in order to blow the biggest bubble ever and then doing that and getting caught in that bubble and now everyone called you Pink Boy.
3. Missing the $5 student burrito at Tomatillo by five minutes.
2. Putting some toast in the toaster on 3, and then it not being toasted enough and putting it back down again and moving it up to 4 and then it gets really burnt and you try and scrape off the burnt with a knife but it’s like burnt all the way through and now your sink is just covered in ash.
1. Facebook-messaging your elementary school crush and saying, “Thanks for the memories.”