BRAD: What’s up? Welcome back to Two Bros and One Longboard.
SANDY: I hope we get another one.
BRAD: Not, no time soon, right? Haha.
SANDY: Yeah, what’s up dude, it’s your soft boy, Sandy.
BRAD: And what’s up, its Big Boy Bradley.
SANDY: And today we’re celebrating our most loved holiday ever – we’re talking about
SANDY: Yo Brad, you wanna smoke some of that sticky icky green purple dragon magic shit?
BRAD: Oh Sandy, you mean some of that like funny stick herbal refreshment all that hippie lettuce shit?
SANDY: Absolutely! I’m talking about that reefer nugget pack a loco pack a load-o modo.
BRAD: Oh, you want some of that dank dank dank a stanka-dank? Huh-huh.
SANDY: But especially some of that wacky ass tobacco wiffy-wiffy wooleys with the tree sticks.
BRAD: Oh shit, dude. Sandy, that sounds like some good shit. But we’re here not just to talk about weed: we’re here to talk about weed in complex ways. One of those ways is, how can we have like a different-er experience when we’re on weed?
SANDY: Like recently Bradley and I have like kinda gotten in a rut I would say—is that fair to say?
BRAD: Uh huh, big rut. No—don’t tell ’em, but tell ’em
SANDY: In terms of, like, we do the same thing every day. We wake up, blaze it, hit it, right away.
SANDY: Four Loko and Coco.
SANDY: Which is, you know, four loko with your Coco Puffs.
SANDY: And then we have been watching all the Fast and Furious movies all the way through.
BRAD: ALL EIGHT BACK TO BACK—it’s kind of a thing, you know? Like with an album, where you can’t really appreciate it unless you see them all in context, constantly.
SANDY: Right, and you don’t understand character arcs or motivations if you don’t watch them all. But we’re kind of bored of that, right?
BRAD: Right, totally bored of that, uh-huh.
SANDY: So we hit up the homies and we got some new creative ways of, uh, you know, things to do on this 4/20.
BRAD: Yeah, we kind of crowd sourced it. The first one is called “Dank Tank.” “Dank Tank” is like you get a bunch of bros together, and you start a think tank, and you start coming up with the solutions to global hunger—but the whole time, you’re blazed.
BOTH [in unison]: You’re totally blazed.
SANDY: You know it would be awesome if you do come up with a solution.
BRAD: Right right right.
SANDY: But like you’re having fun.
BRAD: And it’s just about the process, not about the end goal.
SANDY: All right, this next one I’m hoping to try as soon as I can. It’s called “Mary Jane goes to Spain,” and it’s pretty self explanatory. It’s a year of cultural immersion in Spain and you’re not supposed to speak any English, and you’re gonna live with a family.
SANDY: You’re not gonna party all the time.
SANDY: You’re gonna learn the culture, but meanwhile, dude, you’re totally stoned!
BRAD: Oh, the whole time. You’re blazed for like a year, oh my god.
SANDY: For a whole year, dude! But you’re gonna come back and be multilingual so that’s like definitely a perk for that one.
BRAD: That’s a huge perk. All right, the next one is called “jointment.” “Jointment” is when you go to your therapist with your best friend and you’re like, “I’m totally blazed!” and your therapist is all like, “You have, like, a smoking problem and like maybe you should address this.”
SANDY: But like the whole time, you’re high, so it doesn’t matter.
BRAD: It doesn’t really matter.
SANDY: Bradley, it doesn’t matter.
BRAD: It doesn’t—I don’t think it matters, right?
SANDY: I don’t think you should listen to her.
BRAD: All right, no worries.
SANDY: All right, so the next one is called “The Sandy”. Named after me, it’s something I-I-I don’t even know, but it’s something I tend to do when I get really out of my mind.
BRAD: Classic Sandy.
SANDY: My brain is out of my body. “The Sandy” is when you go to a Foot Locker and you complain that it’s not Payless. I don’t even know how I started doing this, but you know I ended up at my local Foot Locker, like, “Where are the Payless shoes?”
BRAD: It’s just less good. Foot Locker’s just a less good establishment and they should all be replaced by Payless.
SANDY: Right, right, absolutely.
BRAD: All right, our final one for you guys. This one’s a little bit fun, a little bit long-term, gotta put a little bit of commitment into this one. This one’s called “Wake and Bake and Mountain Shake.” This is so good—so, for “Wake and Bake and Mountain Shake,” what you gotta do is every day you gotta pick a consistent time so it really works out. You gotta go to your local mountain side and fill up buckets of water and splash it on the side of the mountain. Every day. For, maybe, I don’t know, five, 10, 15, 20 years?
SANDY: No, no, five, 10, 15, centuries.
BRAD: Right, right, right. Well, you need to—
SANDY: Or decades.
BRAD: Start small, build up to it, you know what I mean?
SANDY: The end goal, I don’t really know if you’ve made this clear, the end goal is mountain erosion.
BRAD: Right, right, the end goal is erosion. Cause like—But the whole time?
SANDY: You’re blazed.
BRAD: Wake and bake it! Woooooah.
SANDY: All right, guys, we’ve gotta wrap it up. It’s been Sandy—
BRAD: And this has been Big Boy Bradley, and this has been—
BOTH: Two Bros and One Longboard.
SANDY: Thank you.
BRAD: Peace out.