BETA

How to: find a place to stay in Cambridge

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So, it’s the Friday before The Game. The good news is that you’ve painstakingly organized a party bus, or car, or moped, or whatever, to get you to Harvard that night. And you’ve got your ticket to the game on Saturday (okay, maybe you actually don’t, but let’s assume you do). The question now: what do you do in between the time you get dumped in Harvard Square and the absurd hour you start drinking on Saturday?

Well, you probably want to drink on Friday too, but I can’t help you there. The only time I ever went to a Harvard party I got kicked out, so I don’t have tips. But eventually you’ll also need to sleep somewhere. As our resident Bostonian, if that’s a word people say (read: my parents live there and I know a few street names) I’m here to provide your guide to finding housing at Harvard this weekend.

Your first option: be part of an organization that has a pair organization at Harvard and pair up! Like, be in an a capella group or sketch comedy group or German literature society that has a counterpart, and then email them asking if you could maybe please sleep on their futons. This requires you to have some talent, like singing, or sketch comedy, or German literature, and also the organizational skills to reach out to your Harvard counterpart. It also means you’re sleeping on some rando’s floor and you’re going to have the awkward internal do-we-need-to-hang-out-all-night debate that you had on Bulldog Days.

Option two—if you went to prep school, hit up one of your 25 former classmates who goes to Harvard. Two serious drawbacks: this only works if you went to prep school, and it also means you have to hang out with your prep school friends. This makes you lame, because it’s COLLEGE.

The third option is not for the faint of heart. Lamont Library is usually open 24 hours during the week, but only until 10 pm this Friday. That said—there are plenty of places to hide in a 24-hour library. Yes, there might be cameras, and yes, it will limit your drinking options at night if you’re on lockdown starting at 10 pm. But it’s probably worth it for the street cred, and who said libraries and drinking were mutually exclusive?

Fourth and foremost: make out with someone and take over half of their twin-sized bed (or more than half, because fuck Harvard). Flirting should be easy because all you have to do is pretend to be lost, or actually be lost, approach a Harvard student and say, “Harvard sucks!” This is witty banter, so you will probably make out shortly thereafter. Housing problem solved.

Or just like, make some friends in Boston. I’ll be sleeping in my bed on Friday.

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