College Football!

This Saturday is one of the most important days in the college football season. For those who don’t know, it’s Championship Saturday, when four of the six big conferences will decide who will represent them on the national stage in the January bowls. By far, the biggest game will be the SEC Championship between No. 1 Florida and No. 2 Alabama. These two powerhouses have sat at the top of the standings for most of the year. The biggest battle will be between Greg McElroy (Alabama’s QB) and the Red Zone, becuase the two haven’t gotten along all year. The winner of this game will play in the National Championship, probably against the Texas Longhorns.

Number three Texas will also be playing for its conference title, the Big 12 Championship. The Longhorns will be playing against the Nebraska Cornhuskers, a traditionally strong team that has struggled in recent years. The Cornhuskers have climbed back into prominence with the help of an elite defense, but can still sputter on the other side of the ball. If they can step up and stop Texas, they can turn college football on its head and keep the Longhorns out of the championship.

In addition, the Big East and ACC have championship games, but they’re not as cool.

(Compiled by an IMs Editor that has BCS Dreams for his Coed Football Team)

Calhoun

So I was walking around Calhoun one day, basking in the wonderful holiday spirit that was beginning to infuse every aspect of life. The dining hall was decked out with Christmas trees, a Christmas Village, Christmas stockings, Christmas music in the servery, workers with sleigh bills—oh, and the Hanukah and Kwanzaa tables off to the side.

With classes ending and the holidays (read: Christmas) just around the corner, it’s nice to just take a step back and appreciate everything. Sure, this is technically what Thanksgiving is for, but everyone knows that holiday is all about just eating. The end of the year is when people become truly introspective and evaluate everything. And then they make a New Year’s resolution and vow to change everything.

Calhoun has much to appreciate. We have a fantastic class of freshmen. Truly amazing. They have so quickly and thoroughly integrated that they don’t even seem like freshmen anymore. They have infused this college with new energy and brightness. They have erased the cynicism of Swing Space, and though they don’t know just how good they have it with the renovated college, they’re still so wide-eyed that it makes you remember all of the good times of yore.

To the freshmen who have made this semester so wonderful!

(Compiled by an appreciative disciple of the Houn)

Davenport

Did you ever think that maybe there’s more to life than being really, really, really ridiculously good looking? There is in fact more: It’s Davenport IMs. So hot right now, Davenport IMs.

The men’s volleyball team started the year with a hard-fought (yeah right) victory over Calhoun (who?). The defending champions are back—game over, everyone else. Have you seen Max “Le Tigre” de La Bruyere’s screeching serves or Matt “Ferrari” Ramlow’s nasty spikes? A word to our remaining “opponents”: Expect a flurry of bumps, sets, and/or spikes in the neighborhood of your faces.

B Hoops, too, opened the year with a W—hey, B Hoops circuit: Better start writing your eugoogalies. One game with our B Ballers, and you’ll wish you had the black lung. And what about CHOOPS? The Globetrotters of the C Hoops world are now ambi-turners—you read that correctly, we can now turn left. We’re officially unstoppable.

If it seems like we’re hogging up all the IM trophies, we are. But relax, we’re opening the Davenport Center For Colleges Who Can’t Play Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, so no worries—we’ll be schooling you soon enough.

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have an after-funeral party in memory of your IM dreams to attend.

(Composed by The Man With Who Tamed Magnum and Blue Steel)

Jonathan Edwards

WE

ARE

IN

FIRST

PLACE.

(Compiled by reality)

Morse

Hey, so tell me about your college’s IM waterpolo team. Uh-huh…yeah..ok…so basically you’re saying that it’s gonna get crushed by Morse’s team. That’s ok, don’t feel too bad. I mean, not everyone can have the awesome team of seniors Joe Hsu, Celina Kirchner, Tom Schnitzer, and Kaity Kelly. I’m not trying to completely crush your spirits here. Your team is probably capable of beating some other team; just don’t get your hopes up about Morse, that’s all.

After all, it would be pretty negligent of me if I didn’t remind you that Joe Hsu is pretty much the Ivy’s best IM football player, and his skills don’t really decrease if you throw him on and intertube and dump him in the pool. And then there’s Kaity. You may know her as the Morsel who does it all. Every IM game. Well, let’s just say that waterpolo is her favorite. And since she’s good at all of the sports, you can probably intuit that this means she’s absurdly kick-ass at waterpolo. Who knows, watching Morse dominate in waterpolo might even become a spectator sport this year.

(Compiled by the Cult of the Walrus)

Silliman

’Twas the week after Thanksgiving, when all through Yale,

Not an JE/TD/SY-er was stirring, not even Nathan Hale;

Their sweats were tossed on the floor without care,

Not thinking that winter season soon would be there;

They thought their opponents were all snug in their beds;

I cannot imagine what was in their small heads,

Because over in Silliman a game-plan we map,

To defeat the sleeping colleges in their long winter’s nap,

Our A Hoops and B Hoops always cause a clatter,

Sweeping Trumbull all week, it’s records we shatter.

To the hoop, Chris Brusalis ’10 moved like a flash,

While Jake Cohen ’12 proved TC B Hoops were trash.

Our Men’s Volleyball team gave Trumbull some woe,

As spikes soared over the Bulls, who were cowering below,

When, what to TC’s wondering eyes should appear,

But Alex Allouche ’13’s serve, inspiring vast amounts of fear,

Then there’s our C Hoops, so lively and quick,

Led by the fearless Josh, Andrew, Sam, and Nick.

Our Women’s Volleyball team with Alex Andrews ’11 gains fame,

Silliman is BACK—and we’ve got game.

(Compiled by a champion who likes lists)