Branford

There were those who said that 2009 would not be a good year for Branford intramurals. There were those who claimed there has never been a good year for Branford intramurals. There were those who insisted that Branford’s intramural program would stumble and fall without the leadership of Diana Calla, ’09.

But these people have been proven wrong. Branford’s class of 2013 has arrived, with a vengeance, to revitalize Branford Intramurals. Our table tennis team is feared. Our volleyball team “moves like water.” (This is a good thing, apparently.) Our tennis team is so intimidating that other teams forfeit, rather than face us. Our coed football team actually holds practices. Our women’s soccer team…okay, well, actually, we need more people to show up to women’s soccer. Branfordians, please come to women’s soccer!

But still. Diana Calla, ’09, that legend of Branford intramurals, would be proud. Because this year is going to be a good year, nay, a great year, for Branford intramurals.

(Compiled by Mary Altonji, John Lockwood, and Jonathan Lassonde)

Ezra Stiles

The moose awakens. It yawns and glances around only to notice a horde of animals all dashing towards the Tyng as though they are fleeing a forest fire. The moose stands. A squirrel runs furiously by, its bushy tale bobbing in the wind. The moose looks to its left and notices a beached walrus flopping on the ground, propelling itself in sad circles with one dry flipper. Animals continue running by, yet the moose refuses to budge. It stretches a little, shakes its head back and forth and inadvertently smacks lesser species with its magnificent antlers. Finally, as the other animals pull further into the distance, the moose rears and breaks into a gallop. With one astronomically large stride, it bridges the distance and bursts into the top three frontrunners. Take this as your lesson, kind reader. The moose may stall, it may look around and watch others scurry forth with all their might, but others should never get complacent because the moose can achieve what others have and more with just a fraction of the energy. Such is the luxury of being one of the biggest, strongest animals in the world

(Compiled by the followers of the divine antlers.)

Pierson

The Pierson party pirates paraded proudly after partaking in last week’s PIMP exhibitions. While we may not have always gotten the W, we certainly had smiles on our faces, and isn’t that what IMs are really all about? Sportsmanship. Compassion. Love for the Game. Helping your fallen athletic compatriots when they trip over their shoes, regardless of whether the individual is friend or foe. Yep, that’s what Pierson IMs were all about this week

But next week..

Look the f*ck out. We’re becoming the powerhouse monster that you’ve warned your little sister about. We’re becoming the monster that slept in your closet, the jock that picked on you in middle school gym and the bad guy in the Texas Chain Saw Massacre all rolled up in to one terrifying (and scary looking) dude.

Our V-ball team will continue to bump like Toads veterans, set like British butlers right before dinner, and spike like a bunch of Zeta frat boys right before a slutty toga party. Ping pong is going balls to the walls where our team of international phenoms will do things you wish you had never seen done with a ping pong ball. Soccer will cleat the opponents, leaving them a crying and bloody mess while our football team will continue to be forever known as a really nice bunch of people

(Compiled by The Pierson Party Pirates)

Saybrook

Saybrook fell victim to a few early setbacks, including late scheduling and some inclement weather, which knocked them back into eleventh place. However, with soccer and football season now underway, things appear to be turning around for the Saybrugians. The defense of two titles began in strong form last week with two shutout victories in men’s football and soccer, and with new Master and co-ed football team member Paul Hudak providing Rex Ryan-like inspiration for that squad. In addition to Sunday practice, improvement seems imminent for the Co-ed team. Female racket sports all-stars Leslie Golden, Kate Penziner, and Kate Macauley have kept Saybrook afloat on both the outdoor and table tennis courts.

From the football fields to the table tennis courts, Saybrook’s excitement is high, and they expect the results to follow. And for those who drafted Saybrook men’s football as their fantasy team defense, they probably won their week one matchup

(Compiled by people who would probably take the time to play IM Fantasy Football if it existed)

Timothy Dwight

I gotta feeling. That this year’s gonna be a good year. That this year’s gonna be a good year. That this year’s gonna be a good, good year. This year’s the year. Let’s live it up. We got our Tyng. Let’s keep it up. Go out and smash it. Like OH MY GOD. Jump on that Sillimander. Let’s kick it OFF. I know that we’ll have a ball. If we get downs and go out and just play football. I feel stressed out, I wanna play polo. Guess I’ll wait ‘til the winter and play water polo. Fill up our CUP. Mazel tov. Look at your fashion… just take it OFF. Let’s paint the town, we’ll shut it down. Let’s burn the roof, and then we’ll do it again…

Eric “Boom Boom Pow” Levine ’13 has left numerous opponents black eyed from his barrage of deadly strikes in soccer play. Lila “Don’t Phunk With My Heart” Ghosh ’13 has overcome illness to phunk up the competition in volleyball. Drew “Pump It” Marconi ’13 has injected men’s football with his fire and non-stop energy, while Julia Osterman ’13 has left opponents asking, “Where is the love?” There is no love from Julia, only pain. Let’s get it started! ASHE.

(Compiled by will.i.am)

Trumbull

Think you are good at ping pong? You might need to think again when you take on Sissi Nie, Aly Kerr, and Amy Ly, who swept the women’s singles competition in Trumbull’s first ping pong match of the season. Watch out, ping pongers.

Ignoring the possibility of catching pneumonia, braving the cold rain with no subs, the men’s football team also fought hard to start off the season with a win. Quarterback Matt Bozik connected with Peter Damrosch and Joe Schottenfeld to lead the team to victory.

All of Yale’s hidden golf talent showed up for a free game of golf on Monday to compete in the Borsodi golf invitational, but none had the amazing drives of Matt Bozik and Nate Mejias. The Trumbull team completed all nine holes, a feat that proved to be too much for other colleges’ golf teams.

Lead by the fantastic leadership skills of Captain Rebecca Treger, the co-ed volleyball team has also started the season strong. Treger, on the current MVP of the team, Peter Damrosch: “he’s always at every game and is a very dependable, good player. Serving, spiking, setting, you name it, he’s awesome!”

Number of the week: 5. The number of intramural games that Margaret Yim has participated in out of Trumbull’s first 4 competition days. We like this ratio

(Compiled by the Putting Pro)