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The myth of skinny-shaming

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As Nicki Minaj’s highest charting single ever, “Anaconda” has elicited a lot of controversy since its release. While the most prominent discussion seems to center around its salacious music video, which has garnered over 100 million views on YouTube—where comments oscillate between denouncing the video as “pornographic” or “disgusting” and heralding it as a sex-positive black-feminist masterpiece—what I find to be the most interesting argument against “Anaconda” is the accusation that Minaj is promoting an unhealthy body image. Indeed, opponents of the song have criticized its lyrics for “skinny-shaming,” contending that Minaj’s call to “fuck the skinny bitches” marginalizes thin women in the same way that larger women are marginalized. Here’s the fault with that argument: while instances of “skinny-shaming” may seem like as much of a problem as fat-shaming—and may very well be just as hurtful—the two phenomena are neither comparable nor equal, because the fact of the matter is that we live in a society that systematically and structurally privileges those who are thin and marginalizes those who are not.

It wasn’t until last weekend that I first heard the term “skinny-shaming.” I was hanging out in a friend’s common room listening to music when “Anaconda” began playing. About 3 minutes into the song, there’s a section where Nicki raps, “Where my fat ass big bitches in the club?/Fuck the skinny bitches/Fuck the skinny bitches in the club/I wanna see all the big fat ass bitches in the mother fucking club, fuck you if you skinny bitches.”

When I mentioned afterwards that I respected Nicki for saying that, to my surprise, my friend replied, “What? But like, skinny-shaming’s also a thing, which is just as shitty.”

“Skinny-shaming,” as I later learned, is the term that’s been coined to describe the act of degrading or insulting someone for being thin. It’s often mentioned in the broader context of body-shaming and women’s body image and is typically offered as a type of other-side-of-the-same-coin alternative to fat-shaming. Often, it’s heralded as more important than fat-shaming, because fat-shaming gets more attention in the media and general discourse. And with the growing discussion surrounding beauty standards, the media, and “real women,” this notion of skinny-shaming is one that’s received a lot of attention lately.

The core of the skinny-shaming argument can be best be summed up by the top comment on Meghan Trainor’s YouTube video for “All About That Bass”—another song that’s proven controversial recently for Trainor’s claim that she’s “bringing booty back” and planning to “tell them skinny bitches that.” The comment reads:

“What happened to everyone is beautiful?! Calling someone a skinny bitch is the same as calling someone a fat bitch. I bet if someone made a song calling someone a fat bitch everyone would hate that person. We’re all beautiful, no matter what size and we need to stop calling each other names or saying things like ‘only curvy girls are real women’ or ‘that girl would be pretty if she wasn’t fat.’ We are all BEAUTIFUL!!”

The basic premise of this argument, my friend’s argument, and all other arguments against “skinny-shaming” is this: skinny-shaming, like fat-shaming, is a form of body-shaming, so it is just as hurtful, dangerous, and problematic. Therefore, skinny-shaming should be discussed, analyzed, and combatted just as seriously as fat-shaming. Basically, “skinny-shaming’s a thing, and it’s just as shitty.”

But not all body-shaming is created equal. Skinny-shaming is absolutely not comparable to fat-shaming, nor should the two issues be weighted equally. And by pairing Trainor’s or Minaj’s or any other person’s individual criticism of “skinny bitches” with the systemic and cultural condemnation of all those who are not “skinny bitches” is to completely ignore the hierarchy of power associated with body-type and weight in modern American culture.

Being skinny is a form of privilege, in the same way that being white, wealthy, heterosexual, cisgendered, or able-bodied is a form of privilege. There are a series of societal benefits and advantages that come with being skinny, and these benefits serve to marginalize those who do not fit into a very narrowly defined notion of the acceptable female body type. These privileges include, but are not limited to:

The ability to find clothing in your size at the vast majority of retailers;

The assumption that your body type is at the very least “normal,” and most often sexually desirable;

The assumption that those who do find you sexually desirable are also normal, and not merely satisfying a fetish;

The assumption that you are healthy and physically fit;

The lack of character judgments (e.g. lazy, greedy, undisciplined) placed upon you for your body type.

These are all privileges enjoyed by those who are skinny, and these privileges are important to recognize when analyzing what exactly body-shaming means, who it affects, and how it affects them. Fat-shaming represents a larger social system of oppression. Skinny-shaming is an individual insult or criticism against those who are already in a position of power. Fat-shaming is nearly constant, ubiquitous, and often unacknowledged. Skinny-shaming happens sometimes. Yes, fat-shaming and skinny-shaming are both forms of body-shaming. No, they are not equal.

What differentiates individual instances of prejudice from large-scale discrimination is the system of power inherent in the latter. In “Developing a New Perspective on Race,” Pat Bidol defined racism as “Power + Prejudice”—I think this is true for all “-isms.” What transforms individual instances of prejudice into larger systems of discrimination is the existence of a power disparity. To be discriminated against is to be constantly placed in a vulnerable position in society—it is to be told, explicitly and tacitly, that you are unworthy and thus deserve less.

This is why even using the term “skinny-shaming” is dangerous; drawing the parallel between a system of oppression and individual grievances serves to conceal the ways in which body-size privileges or marginalizes certain groups. In the same way that affirmative action does not constitute reverse racism, or a concerted effort to recruit women in the workplace does not constitute reverse sexism, an angry comment towards skinny people does not constitute reverse fat-shaming (i.e. skinny-shaming). Being in a position of power means that while you may encounter individual instances of prejudice, you will never be subjected to a system of prejudice. Thus being told “fuck you” by Nicki Minaj is not “skinny-shaming,” but rather an instance of skinny-prejudice.

To be clear, by no means am I approving of or endorsing skinny-prejudice; insulting someone for their body-type—regardless of privileged status—is unproductive and hurtful. What I am saying is that comments like “fuck you if you skinny, bitch” have a context in which they must be considered. In a world in which a national retailer (ahem, Brandy Melville) labels size small clothing “one size fits most,” the dieting industry brings in $20 billion in revenue per year, the media routinely and publicly criticize celebrities for weight gain and herald Jennifer Lawrence as a “curvy woman,” non-skinny women are given very few avenues for attacking and criticizing the culture of oppression to which they are subjected. Add to that the history of patriarchy associated with female weight management, and it becomes clear that insults against those who are skinny are not an attack, but rather a response to a much broader issue.

So when Nicki Minaj says “fuck the skinny bitches” she’s not personally attacking women who receive skinny privilege, but rather combatting the system that gives it to them. She’s publicly recognizing the power dynamic that surrounds the female body, and she’s attempting to disrupt the dominant narrative that allows this dynamic to exist.

Yes, I understand “fuck the skinny bitches” might hurt your feelings, but no, this one instance of skinny-prejudice is not comparable to the pervasive culture of fat-shaming we live in. And by ignoring the fact that there is a difference, we deny the fact that this system of privilege and oppression continues to exist.

 

Illustration by Julia Kittle-Kamp

  • Monica

    Wow. This is a terrible argument. For some women, it is nearly impossible to put on weight. Some are ashamed of their bodies and wish that they could somehow be different. Skinny shaming IS a thing and it is just as terrible as fat shaming. They produce the same effect. Body shaming in general is a really terrible thing that should never happen and it sickens me to hear this argument.

  • Sbell213

    You can say that the comments said
    to me are just a response by society, but that response has come at the price
    of years of my self-esteem, years of my self-confidence, a hatred for my body
    that I still can’t kick. I am not an oddity.

    I just want to start off by saying that
    as an underweight 24 year old woman, 5’4 and on average 95lbs (although I have
    almost hit 100 for the first time. Exciting!) I would like to know where one
    finds this supposed “skinny privilege” I’ve been hearing so much about. I’d
    really like to get in on that. Given my size, I should totally meet the quota,
    right? Can I find this in a department store? Is there some bulk bonus kit I
    can get that will allow me to feel normal and good about my body? If so I’ve
    got the cash to spend on that, hell, if it will make people treat me like they
    would treat anyone else, go ahead, put whatever it costs on my credit card!

    What I’m trying to say is
    that the point of your article, at its core, it’s just wrong. It’s like if a
    friend came up to you, looking for condolences because he or she had a shitty
    day, or got dumped, or a death in the family, whatever it may be, and you
    turned to them and said “Shut up, my dog died. You don’t understand pain” It’s
    petty. Experiencing pain does not diminish the pain of others. I hate that notion. Everyone experiences
    different situations, and really, who are we as individuals to judge someone
    else when they say they feel pain? Who are we to say that the pain they feel is
    silly or unwarranted? When I say I have
    had people treat me like shit because of my size, I am in no way saying that
    overweight women don’t go through hell either. I’m saying that both sides of
    the spectrum get shit. Just because you assume someone has some intangible privilege
    doesn’t mean they have a magical force field that protects them from the world.

    I’d like to touch on your idea of privilege. I will proceed to quote you
    know.

    “The ability to find clothing in your size at the vast majority of
    retailers;”

    See, I can’t. A little thing called vanity sizing has come in, making the
    clothes larger but the tag on the clothes smaller. I hardly shop. I find it
    depressing. Nothing fits right, things are baggy. If I find clothes that actually
    work well for me, I hang on to them for years, wearing them until they have
    holes, because finding flattering clothes is difficult. I’d kill for at least
    one store in the mall to carry only small sizes, and true small sizes. Unfortunately,
    nothing of that nature exists. Before you retort saying that I can go anywhere,
    please, re read that I have a hard time finding clothes as wll.

    “The assumption that your body type is at very least “normal,” and most
    often sexually desirable;”

    Actually. I’m underweight. I’m considered weird. I feel like a freak to be totally
    honest. I feel totally uncomfortable with my body. I’m smaller than most
    people, and I feel like an alien in my own skin. It is something I have been dealing
    with for years. It doesn’t help that people (very often) feel the need to grab
    my wrists or arms and tell me that I am “just so thin” and as if I eat. They
    ask me if there is something wrong with me, or tell me that I’m too thin. As
    for being found sexually desirable, I’m sure some do. My boyfriend does.
    However, I have also have many men tell me flat out (like they think it isn’t
    an insult) that they could just never be with someone my size. That they like
    someone who is a bit more “womanly”. So don’t tell me that I get to feel
    normal. Because really, that’s something I have wanted for years.

    “The assumption that those who do find you sexually desirable are also
    normal, and not merely satisfying a fetish;”

    I’ve been told that men who are attracted to me are pedophiles.

    “The assumption that you are healthy and physically fit;”

    “Do you eat”? “Do you throw up?” “Anorexic”
    Heard those hundreds of times. Yeah, those are the things that people say to
    someone they assume is healthy.

    The lack of character judgments (e.g. lazy, greedy, undisciplined) placed
    upon you for your body type.

    “Meek”, “Passive’ “Innocent” and while those aren’t so bad, they aren’t
    ideals that I want to be associated with as a woman. I want to be seen as
    strong and independent. However, at my size, that won’t happen. Oh, and all of
    the personality traits someone may have associated with any form of eating
    disorders.

    However,
    I AM privileged. Not because of my weight. I’m privileged because I have a
    great family, I can provide for myself, I have a roof over my head, and food on
    the table. I was born into first world country. I have the right to vote, the
    right to seek an education, I have so many freedoms. I live in a world where I
    have access to books and knowledge.

    You can say that the prejudice comes as a response
    to fat shaming. A response to society, however, if this is true, why has a mere
    repose come at the cost of my self-esteem? Why at 24 is this something I am
    finally starting to be okay with? No one is saying skinny shaming is a bigger
    issue than fat shaming. We are saying that it is often an invisible issue. An
    issue that people turn a blind eye to, or an issue, as this article proves,
    people don’t seem to think is any big deal. Well. It is a big deal. So is
    treating others wrong for being overweight. As woman especially, we should be
    fighting the idea that it is okay to put down any woman for her size. Not
    having a “Well, I have it worse’ pissy battle. It’s stupid and petty. We as
    Woman are doing a disservice to ourselves. We should be joining together. Not
    making each other feel like shit.

    I was in a bathroom at an event with a friend. My
    friend is overweight and she is stunningly beautiful. This event was the first
    time I wore shorts out in at least 6 years. I’ve always been ashamed of my
    chicken legs. We were talking about it in the bathroom. Another girl I didn’t
    know came out of the stall, hearing our conversation, and went on to say how
    beautiful we were. It was crazy supportive and absolutely wonderful. This is
    what we need to doing for each other. Not calling each other fat or skinny
    bitches, and certainly not supporting those who do use those titles.

    • sbell213

      So many typos. Sorry, I wrote that with a migraine.

  • Julia

    This article completely misses the point. No one should be made to feel bad about their bodies, period. There is hierarchy in the battle against body-shaming. This is petty and ridiculous.

  • Julia

    *There is NO hierarchy in the battle against body-shaming.

  • Haley

    I am naturally very thin and may I just point out that often skinny women have difficulty finding clothes that fit right as well. Particularly jeans and pants. Also, this is definitely NOT the only case of skinny-shaming, and often times skinny women are not considered to be sexy unless they have big boobs and a nice booty. I do agree that skinny-shaming and fat-shaming are NOT equal… YET. Skinny-shaming may not be as extreme currently as fat-shaming is but it is headed in the same direction. Honestly, I don’t think that anything negative should be said about someone’s body unless you have a genuine concern for their health and completely understand their situation before stating your opinion. Skinny-shaming, fat-shaming, it’s all shaming and it’s all wrong.

  • Desya_beloved

    The problem is that “skinny” is not what you are really talking about. You are speaking of women with “average to below average” weights and body types. The old average woman, the one who weighs around 140lbs, the one who is a size 6 or 8. That is not skinny. Maybe it is to larger people who wear a size 14 but that is not the end of the spectrum that the words thin and skinny were created to describe. When we talk about skinny-shaming we’re talking about actual thin women. Those who are underweight or borderline, those who weigh more like 110lbs, those we require a size 000, 00 or 0. These women are shamed. They are called skeletons, skin and bones, sticks, bean poles, anorexic, skinny-bitches, compared to death, told to eat, force fed by family, berated by doctors, distrusted by therapists, bullied in school, and cannot find clothing in stores like so many bigger women like to claim. A 000 is not common in any major store, the vast majority do not carry them or only do so online or in limited amounts. They shop in the children’s section, cannot fine bras (find me a 28D bra, right now at any america store) and have to tailor their clothing. They are a small group sure, but they exist and do face hardships from society. Calling them a myth IS as damaging as bullying a larger woman. No need to debate about who has it worse, but to shove them aside and call their problems unimportant is cruel, ignorant and wrong.

  • Brittany

    Recently, I’ve been seeing less photos of thigh gaps and twig arms and more big booties and twerking videos on social media sites such as tumblr and Twitter. I have some friends make fun of my lack of behind and small hips and small frame. I’m a petite woman, barely coming in at 5 feet and I’m small-framed, but these images and standards have really been getting to my self-esteem and self-image. I’ve even asked my boyfriend if he likes my curves or thinks I have enough because this “myth” is digging into my brain. And honestly, sometimes I feel that I do not measure up to a “real woman” because I’m told that significant curves are an integral part of womanhood and femininity. I DO experience this everyday: song lyrics, social media, advertisements, male expectations for for female bodies. EVERY DAY. And try pairing it with that nagging anorexia voice in your head. When I buy clothes I don’t always fill them out correctly. So indeed, thin-shaming is a phenomenon. And to say that Nicki Minaj is attacking “the system” is an assumption.

  • The One Who Keeps The Faith.

    Also being a skinny person I have trouble accepting the argument that skinny shaming is not as bad as fat shaming. The privileges you speak of are actually detrimental to the self esteem of skinny women who are black. While yes, skinny people are more accepted by the larger (white) society, what matters for an African American woman is to be accepted by the African American community. As we know skinny girls are constantly bashed for being skinny and often are scorned and ostracized by other women who are black and have larger curves. Within African American culture the “curvy-thick” women are praised to the highest extent even being regarded by black men as better for producing a child (due to weight as well as the assumption that this is what A REAL woman looks like. in speaking of your privileges I wanted to address each one because they all do not apply to skinny women who are black or at least my experience as a skinny black woman has not been anything synonomous with “privilege”.

    1.”The ability to find clothing in your size at the vast majority of retailers”

    The vast majority of retailers you speak of (I’m assuming you are referring to malls and mainstream clothing stores) have unreasonably high prices for good quality clothing. So while there is an abundance of clothing stores that cater to the “skinny” African American they make us pay an arm and a leg for it. And also the dilemma with shopping at a cheaper retail store is they don’t have that small of a size! (00-2) or the quality is not up to par. (Oh the frustration!)

    2.The assumption that your body type is at very least “normal,” and most often sexually desirable;

    Wrong! Black men preach the same gospel as Nicki’s when it comes to skinny black women. not only do they take advantage of the skinny black girl but a skinny girl trying to enter into a black family will often get criticized by his family for being skinny with comments like “We need to fatten you up” or “Child you cant grow no babies with that body”.

    3.The assumption that those who do find you sexually desirable are also normal, and not merely satisfying a fetish;

    Those who accept the skinny girl may not stay in the relationship or work towards any type of commitment just as much as a thicker or curvy girl. This isn’t even applicable.

    4.The assumption that you are healthy and physically fit;

    More like “anorexic and unhealthy” Also not fit for child rearing or even being a real woman.

    5. The lack of character judgments (e.g. lazy, greedy, undisciplined) placed upon you for your body type.
    Being black I still get afforded all of those attributes.

    Basically being skinny in the black community, there is no privilege. You often feel out of place with white culture (for being black) and with black culture (for not being thick or curvy) which then breeds depression, lower self esteem, and a lack of femininity. There are no songs in the black community uplifting skinny girls or any one even speaking about being skinny and when they do its a song like “Anaconda”.

  • A_Greene

    Sweet Jesus, did this make me angry. Regardless of my body size or anyone’s body size, nobody has the right to degrade somebody else’s body. Skinny-shaming does not in any way detract from the long and ongoing fight against fat-shaming, but is part of a struggle to accept all body shapes, sizes and colours. There is nothing wrong with somebody saying ‘I like curvy girls,’ but there is something wrong saying ‘who wants a bag of bones?’ And I hope that we can all see the distinction. The former is celebrating women who are bigger than what is tradtionally considered the norm, which is bloody fantastic because it makes those women feel great and sexy, just as they should be. The latter is celebrating nothing; it is completely negative and insulting. I do not think that big women should feel insulted at somebody who openly admits that their personal idea of beauty is not them as long as thin women do not justify anybody openly admitting that their personal ideal of beauty is not them by calling it a fetish or a lie and thinking that just because they fit the Western ideal of beauty they are more entitled to attention than bigger women. My point is that it works both ways. Nobody should be made to feel embarrassed, ashamed or disgusted by their own body. Nobody should feel embarrassed, ashamed or disgusted at anyone else’s body. Skinny-shaming does not help to solve fat-shaming, and modern thin women and girls are not the ones to blame for the appalling history of fat-shaming. Articles like this are strengthening the act of body-shaming as well as making big women feel more vulnerable by at the very least implying that they are the only ones who can feel ashamed of their bodies, whilst thin is still the ideal that they should aim for because ‘look, even when people think they can attack you they can’t, so lose some weight and you can be bulletproof too.’
    Don’t body-shame.
    Don’t be ignorant.
    Be beautiful.

  • guest

    I agree that fat- and skinny- shaming are unequal, just as many forms of shaming and reverse shaming are unequal. But that doesn’t mean that the less prevalent one doesn’t exist. I’m all down to end the shaming (someone should not feel shame for who they are, what they look like, what they choose to do with their life. If something is mentally or physically affecting them in a bad way it should change but they shouldn’t feel badly for it. Unfortunately, no one – or nearly no one – is quite to the point where that kind of non-judgment comes naturally), but before that comes we have to admit that it exists. I can see the argument that Minaj’s “F*** the skinny b*****” attacks the society that accepts skinny as the norm, but the “F*** you if you’re skinny” I do view as a personal attack. Because just like in other issues, some people are more privileged than others, but this doesn’t mean that anyone should be attacked; it means something has to be fixed so one group of people is not held higher than another.

  • Skinny White Man

    You must not be well educated to even try and justify any of this.

  • lianacs

    As a girl who grew up extremely skinny in the worst possible community to grow up skinny in (the black community) I have to say this article really hits the nail on the head. I’ve been accused of being anorexic by my family, I’ve been told the usual “go eat a sandwich,” “you look like a signpost,” yada yada, and I’ve had girls and guys tell me that I was gross and that no one likes a flat ass and no tits. That being said, I can say that I’d much rather be extremely thin than fat, because at the end of the day my body type is generally preferred over that of an overweight person. Shaming of any kind is bad. But hearing other skinny people complain about being “skinny-shamed” and how much it has hurt them reminds me of some article I read about Kylie Jenner feeling discriminated against by other models at Fashion Week for getting booked based on her celebrity status. Boo-hoo, someone made you feel bad that one time. That doesn’t mean that you’re marginalized. Did Kylie Jenner deserve to be ill-treated by her fellow models? No. No one deserves hate. But bringing it up as if she is a victim of marginalization would be absolutely ridiculous. You must realize that at some point you will be called names and humiliated for something you have no control over. But that doesn’t mean that the level at which you were “shamed” was equivocal to anyone else’s shaming. Kylie must realize that she’s going to get those comments. That doesn’t mean that she deserves them or that anyone deserves to be shamed for anything. But she also can’t complain because she has the best problem anyone could ever have – being rich, famous and beautiful. And so to all of my fellow skinny people –> WE ARE PRIVILEGED. We are blessed with having the problem of being skinny, which to say is not really a problem when you compare it to being overweight, disabled, disfigured or some combination of those. Basically, if you’ve never had the thought that your SO might only be seeing you because of a fetish, you’re probably on the right side of the tracks as far as society is concerned.

  • solipscient

    No it is FKD up either way, they are equal… Homosexuals degrade heterosexuals by calling them breeders, and even feel like they are superior. it doesnt matter what society thinks, it is each and every individual that makes up society, the overweight and outcasts of society dont like being treated like shit for their size or orientation, so why is it ok for them to do it right back? Two wrongs dont make a right.

  • Brittney

    If you’re offended by a lyric in a Nicki Minaj song to the point that your self esteem is lowered there may be a bigger issue. If someone is otherwise insulting your figure then fuck them…… Who cares ?

  • esssie43

    I understand that fat people get called names but don’t think for one minute that we skinny people don’t go through the same. Also, just as being overweight causes health issues so does underweight. Neither group can help what was given to them at birth. We are all beautiful and there is someone out there to love us both. it is just as annoying and hurtful when someone calls me skinny. my reply is, “No you’re fat.” This causes the person to think before speaking the next time. I have 6 grown children and 17 grand and weigh 124. I love me as I am!!! I weighed 98 until I was 45yrs. old

  • Kelsey

    Being bullied from a young age for being underweight (due to no fault of my own), I have a very different view point on this. To say that one is not equal to the other is completely right there is a wider sense of body shaming for larger women. But to say that it only happen ‘sometimes’ and that this privallage lets us leed an easier life is wrong. I cant comment on the situation of larger women because I haven’t experienced it. But from our corner the grass is not as green as you think. Thin women are just under as much scrutiny as larger ones. For example It is almost impossible for a size 8 women to have huge breasts but that is what is considered ‘attractive’ but it’s so unrealistic. Thin women are criticised just as much ‘go eat a burger’ ‘are you anorexic’ ‘you look so skinny’. My fear of this article is it creates a divide, prioritising one above the other isn’t healthy.

  • Rhiannon Poole

    I
    think the whole thing gets so off point – it isn’t about making sure
    all women are told they are equally sexy and attractive – it is about
    how hot men think we are not defining our value. It is simply a factual
    reality some people are more attractive than others. If our worth as a
    human being didn’t have anything to do with how good looking we are,
    women would not have their self esteem so impacted by not being the
    prettiest woman in the room. I think the point is to take the focus of
    our value being linked to or defined by how hot we are, not to to demand
    that everybody finds overweight or obese people sexually attractive. I
    know everyone would say I am mean, but if we are going to be honest,
    some people are more sexually attractive and some are not to most
    people. The point is that how we look does not factor into our value or
    how worthy of love and respect we are. Being good looking itself is a form of privilege – but one created by genetics, that cannot be changed. When it comes down to it, I am not going to ask Brad Pitt out for a drink, unless I know I am equally as physically attractive as him. I know that I dont get to have sex with a man who has a six pack if I am a size 22, most likely. Good looking people get to have sex with good looking people. Less attractive people have to have sex with other less attractive people most of the time. It is unavoidable. However unfair, it cannot be changed (although male entitlement and prostitution seek to ensure men can have sex with whoever they like despite the fact those women dont find them attractive) If you are an overweight balding man, you should not expect the 20 year old model downstairs to have sex with you. The thing is overweight and obese people are not as sexually attractive to most of us as slimmer people. You cannot force people to be sexually attracted to you, sexual attraction doesn’t work that way. I
    was asked out by a man who is overweight, and I did not find him
    sexually attractive and said no. That doesn’t make me ”fatphobic” HIs
    double chin and stomach rolls were sexually repellent to me, and I a
    not in control of who and what I am sexually attracted to. SO lets focus on the way women are valued and defined by society by how they look, and work on fighting that, rather than demanding that everyone finds every person equally sexy. (and diabetes, early death and health are things we should all care about)

  • Rhiannon Poole

    The whole point of feminism is that women need to stop being valued by how we look to men, so the idea of saying that women have to be fat or curvy is just as bad as saying women have to be thin. Unless you take the emphasis OFF HOW WE LOOK nothing is being changed. What if women began to force feed themselves to be sufficiently sexy? (There is a tribe I read of that force feeds women becuase that is considered desirable) It would be the same as starving ourselves to be thin enough. In the end, if we value women for their humour, or intellect, or sporting ability or creativity and imagination, or kindness, or a million other things, then our self esteem would not be so connected to how sexy looking men say we are. I wish that point was not being so completely missed in this debate.

  • ErickaW

    I don’t care about the privileges society gives skinny people..Does that make them not people? No. So discrimination against them should be taken seriously and offensively. As with any sort of body shaming. As an average sized human, I have an unbiased opinion here, so my view is, nobody else body concerns you.

  • Lauren

    Aside from the skinny-shaming angle of it, that the word “bitches” is just being thrown around in pop culture as if it isn’t an insult to women is a bizarre turn of events. Apparently women are bitches by default now. A skinny bitch is just a skinny girl. She doesn’t even have to be doing anything “bitchy” in order to be called this. Why are women doing this to themselves?