Me: I’m a bachelor who’s looking for some midnight luvvin in my freezing cold attic-turned-bedroom whose heat doesn’t work because the house I live in isn’t finished. Don’t worry about it. Do you have an empty bedroom? Even better. We can roleplay being live-in roommates. Get a third in on this and we can turn it into a Three’s Company-type-deal. Except only on the condition that I get to be Janet.