I guess I’m lucky in lot of ways. I finally broke in a nice boy to bring home to the parents. He understands my weekly sushi dates with the girls. He washes and walks my chihuahua, Duchess. He knows not to watch football on Sundays because usually I won’t want to see him but how about if I change my mind and he’s with his friends? Like, all the way on the Upper West Side. That’d just be insensitive. But now I want some grunge. Force me to get helmet hair on your bike. Force me to eat at Olive Garden. I’m looking for a guy who would be into the fact that I’m in a serious monogamous relationship. I hope his pitbull, Spike, hates Duchess. I’m looking for the king of Alphabet City who, on occasion, will take me to the hookah bar for some “grub.” Please hate my parents. Please hate my Pulitzer. But understand that Wednesdays at 10 p.m. will always be reserved for Nashville with my honeybear!

