The funny thing about Jewish holidays in general and Hanukkah in particular is that they fall on a slightly different time each year. This is especially important with regard to Hanukkah because sometimes it falls over Christmas break and your parents remember to give you presents and sometimes it falls right at the beginning of finals, which means that there are no presents, only finals, and nothing good is ever happening again. (I feel like there is some sort of clever joke to be made about Hanukkah, finals, and the expressions “burning the midnight oil” or “burning the candle at both ends,” but let’s be real — I haven’t slept for days and I’m not that clever to begin with).

That being said, it’s really important to do Hanukkah right because it’s all we have in the face of the behemoth that is CHRISTMAS. This was made especially clear when I went to Target to try and find a menorah, and there were fifteen aisles of dinky Christmas lights and ornaments and bows and ribbons and Santa paraphernalia, and three measly shelves of Hanukkah stuff. Two of the shelves were empty, and one had three cracked ceramic menorahs with “Clearance” stickers on them. Moral of the story is that the Target in New Haven probably still thinks we killed Jesus.

So, DON’T go to Target. DO, however, go to the Westville Kosher Market at 95 Amity Rd. to get challah bread, latkes, brisket, etc. And DO go to the Slifka Center at 3:45 PM tomorrow for the candle lighting. (DO or DON’T stay for the Orthodox Shabbat Services following, your choice.) Lastly, absolutely DO get drunk off of Manischewitz. It’s like candy and grape juice, yet also like wine!

Just Do It.