I want you guys to brace yourselves, because in spite of expectations, it is theoretically possible that we will lose the game this year. And while we’re forced into “Science,” “Math,” and “Writing” classes, not all of us have taken the most important football prerequisite — Sportsmanship.

Here’s what to say if we lose (within earshot of a Harvarder):

-”Gee, that loss wore me out. I guess I’ll fly home to my family and get ready for Thanksgiving now!”

-”Wow, if Harvard keeps playing that well, maybe their athletic director will get them a real mascot!”

-”Man, tough game. I’m glad that our AWESOME tailgate got me drunk enough to bear it!”

-”Yeah, they’re good. Too bad their cheerleaders are so UGLY! HAH!” [Disclaimer: I have not seen any of Harvard's cheerleaders. I'm sure their looks are entirely comparable with the rest of the Harvard population. This is just universally acknowledged to be a totally sick burn.]

Here’s what not to say:

-”Yeah. They were better than us, anyway.”

-”Harvard SUCKS!!! They… suck! [sob]”

-”I drank too much. I think I’m going to vomit.”

The great thing about Sportsmanship, though, is that if and when we win, it goes out the window. RUB IT IN!!!

For more coverage of the Harvard-Yale Game 2009, check out our Game topic page!