My extensive research has shown that there are two types of English majors at Yale. I took Vikings! to fulfill the pre-1800 requirement (I think the exclamation was actually in the course title, or at the very least was on the first slide of every powerpoint presentation. We also learned a lot about polar bears). If the requirement was limited to only one pre-1800 course, me and all my fellow students of Scandinavian runes would be fine. There are, however, three pre-1800 courses that need to be reckoned with.

Which brings me to the second type of English major — the type that really relishes the minor histories of Shakespeare and likes to consider multiple texts of the Prelude. I bear you no ill will. I think it’s cool that you seem to have a genuine enthusiasm for that which I find mind-blowingly boring. That being said, it is never necessary for you to turn every opportunity to read aloud into some sort of amateur karaoke hour or open mic night at the Globe, as you delve into the nuances of pronunciation in iambic pentameter and carefully enunciate every archaic word ending. You will never be discovered as the next great Shakespearean actor in an English section in LC. And you will not change my opinion on Wordsworth, no matter how loudly you try. So, on behalf of myself and every other Viking scholar, please, please, PLEASE read like a normal human being. Thanks.