One of the awesome things about not living on campus is that you aren’t paying a ton of money to Yale Dining to eat sliced zucchini every night. That being said, I’ve noticed lately that most of my meals lately have been based on Reduced Fat Wheat Thins. Which, by all accounts (but mostly mine), are pretty awesome. I suggest Wheat Thins with sliced turkey and mustard, Wheat Thins with peanut butter for dessert, Wheat Thins with hummus or salsa depending on which type of ethnic food you’re in the mood for, or Wheat Thins with cheese when drinking Yellowtail. The point being, there are all types of legitimate ways to eat Wheat Thins. They’re practically Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

That all being said, there is a fine line between making Wheat Thins work for you and realizing that your life has spun wildly out of control as you try to take care of yourself away from the residential college system, and that fine line is printed in picture form on the back of the Wheat Thins box next to me. They pose the question, “Why Snackrifice?”, to which I agree wholeheartedly. This is where things, however, get a little wild.The fine makers of Wheat Thins advise (for a $1 snack!) eating 16 Wheat Thins + an 8 oz. glass of Crystal Light Lemonade. It’s unclear whether you’re supposed to dip the Wheat Thins into the lemonade like some sort of poor man’s milk and cookies, or whether you’re just supposed to savor this fine pairing of flavors together, but whatever they want you to, it’s just sad. So, if you find yourself reading that suggestion, thinking it’s not a bad idea, and trying it, I advise you to take a long, hard look at yourself and ask some deep questions about what you’re doing, where you can go from here, and how you got to this point. In this particular case, I’ll snackrifice.