A transcript, from Season 1, Episode 4 of Strangers With Candy:

Jellineck:  Say, Jerri.  What was that all about?

Jerri:  Mr. Noblet wants me to snitch on a friend.

Jellineck:  Snitching doesn’t seem like you, Jerri.

Jerri:  Oh, it’s not what you think, I mean, it’s not like snitching on a real person or anything.  She’s…

Jellineck:  Gay?

Jerri:  Retarded.

Jellineck:  Yes.  Most of them are.

Jerri:  Most who are what?

Jellineck:  Most gay people are retarded.

Jerri:  Wait a minute.  Does that mean Kimberly Timbers is gay?

Jellineck:  I don’t know.  Hey!  Make a pass at her and found out.  She’d have to be retarded to turn you down.

Jerri:  Thanks.  Um, well, are they uh, dangerous?

Jellineck:  Gay people?  They can be.

Jerri:  No, no, no, no, no.  Retarded people.

Jellineck:  Hmm.  I don’t know.  But I do know, before you do any snitching, you better find out.

Bullblog Warning: you do not want to be a person who watches this show. Amy Sedaris will make you laugh and also turn you into a terrible, terrible person. Plus, they really need a new fact checker — gay people are sooo dangerous.