Yale already has some financial problems; we all know this—and according to Bloomberg, they’re going to continue for the foreseable future. Donations to all colleges fell dramatically last year—and they fell the most at Yale, declining 26 percent to a pathetic $350 million. Chump change! You can barely gold-plate any toilets at all with that. So there are only two options left if we want not to sink to the abysmal level of the US government: we can rely on the Chinese, who don’t seem all that happy about sending their auspicious dollars New Haven-wards, or the Class of 2010 can step it up and cough up the cash. Sure, you have rent to pay. Sure, the unemployment rate for recent college graduates is in the triple high-double digits. But Yale needs to renovate shit! Your College needs the newest edition of DDR! Think of your donation as an investment in the future—if you give enough, you might not even have to pay for an SAT tutor for your silver-spoon-son.