Who’ll have the initiative to participate in the Sex@Yale Initiative?
Gordon writes:
The website wants to represent a range of perspectives: religious, gay, straight, bisexual, experimenting, abstinent, in a long-term relationship or experienced in the world of casual hook-ups. Each of these viewpoints will hopefully offer a unique vision of successful “sex at Yale.” The angle, tone and length of each essay is flexible, but ultimately every essay should come together to form a diverse, thoughtful student guide to Yale’s sexual culture.
The thing is, these sorts of exercises tend to elicit the most sexually liberated and experienced (if not promiscuous) respondents, as anyone who’s ever read New York‘s Sex Diaries can tell you. Why would someone who’s abstinent think to seek out Sex@Yale? I can imagine the religious or abstinent (in my mind, more or less the same—I think there’s a huge difference between someone who labels themselves “abstinent” and someone who just isn’t having sex for a variety of reasons) attempting to proselytize to the sexual heathens of Yale’s population, but the anonymous format doesn’t really lend itself to those people’s choices coming across as attractive options—especially when juxtaposed with other Yalie’s salacious hook-up tales.
But anyways, good luck to Gordon and Miller, and the best of luck to the class of 2014 if they try to take anyone’s experiences with sex at Yale (as listed in “Sex@Yale”) as prescriptive.
Tags: claire gordon, mary miller, sex week, Sex@Yale, Yale College Dean's Office
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If you have a problem with Sex@Yale not being representative of the actual sexual culture here on campus, I can’t comprehend why would you try to demonize the project as a whole (which is sure to turn off more people thereby ensuring that the site’s going to be even less representative). Smart move, Herald.
I am not surprised that the first official response to the sex@yale initiative is negative, but I am somewhat disappointed by the ways in which the project has already been completely misrepresented.
First of all, to call this a project by Mary Miller and Claire Gordon is highly inaccurate. The sex@yale initiative, while sponsored in part by the Yale College Dean’s Office, is not going to be “overseen” by Dean Miller. Instead, the initiative is driven by a Yale professor and a team of student from a variety of different sexual, religious, ethnic and socioeconomic backgrounds. There are a number of students and staff members involved in every step of the design, recruitment and editing processes.
Second, I don’t see any benefit in attacking this project before any of the essays have surfaced. Certainly if the sex@yale website only contains 30 essays from white women on the Women’s Center board, the initiative will have failed. Claire and a number of other students are contacting people who otherwise wouldn’t be writing about their perspective of sex at Yale precisely to make sure that a variety of voices are represented.
While I certainly don’t see any harm in creating a website that features sexually liberated men and women (drunken hook up culture, orgies, free love, etc.), I’m most excited to hear from the quieter voices. Are some students on campus not having sex by choice? What has influenced their choices? Are some students not having sex, but want to? What have their experiences in college been like? How do athletes and the Greek system members react to being treated by the administration like sexual predators? What experiences have affected their sex lives at Yale?
I think answers to these questions are highly valuable. I usually like the Bullblog but am disappointed that it was used to attempt to delegitimize a project that so many students are excited about.
Stick to Sam Tsui gossip.
People who don’t fit in to the “normal” (whatever that means) sexual culture at Yale are looking for a place to have their voices heard or to know that they are part of a community or that other people here are making similar choices. I’m sure they will write for and utilize this resources to build that sense of support.
You arguments are just silly and wrong. The point is that everyone thinks you can only be intimate at Yale by going to Toad’s and taking someone home or getting involved in a Yale Marriage. The whole point of the website is to broaden people’s horizons. I really don’t get why you don’t want people to have at least access to information.
Plus mary miller is a babe.
Sex@Yale is being edited and crafted by a set of sharp, savvy, students concerned with the way that people (and often women) get hurt by Yale’s dominant sexual culture and are trying to highlight some positive counter-narratives: do you really think they’re going to let the site turn into a database of soft-core porn?
Your attitude is prudish and reactionary. It demonstrates a real lack of confidence in your fellow students, which I can’t blame you for– well-intentioned plans are always backfiring around here. I happen to have an immense amount of confidence in the people working on this project. We’ll just have to wait and see…
I’m really confused as to why the Bullblog would assume that the outcome of this project is going to be the opposite of its explicit aims. The entire point of the sex@yale initiative is to get views and perspectives from the whole range of Yalies including varsity athletes, fraternity brothers and, yes, people who are abstinent – not just the Women’s Center and the Co-op.
I’m disappointed that you’re using this forum to bash the initiative for something it has not even done yet when you could be using this space to help recruit exactly those voices you’ve assumed won’t be included. Don’t complain about the problem, be the solution! :-)
Your post is exactly the kind of obstructive dialogue that this project is working to change at Yale. It is in all of our interest to open a productive and frank discussion about sex at Yale, and allow for people to share their views and opinions on a subject that is important to all of us, whether or not we’re having sex. Your comparison to the Sex Week workshops is unproductive and misleading. The project is about starting meaningful conversations about the limitations and possibilities of the sexual culture at Yale, not about how to give blow jobs. We all have a stake in ensuring that our school’s sexual culture is safe and comfortable for everyone. Comments like yours are self-defeating. By demonizing the project before it’s begun, you’re discouraging participation from the people who actually have things to contribute. This project has the potential to do a lot of good for our school, but reactions like yours will make it very difficult to get the discussion rolling.
ditto what everyone has previously said.
the point is to get different representation, and your negativity doesn’t help. complain after the fact, if the project fails. until then, write for it yourself, and help get the “non-promiscuous” voices heard.
The sex@yale initiative is an amazing opportunity for current students to help shape Yale’s sexual culture for incoming freshmen. I hope members of the bullblog participate in the process, as you guys are obviously some of my favorite writers on campus!
We should all be working on this together. What a great way to counter the stupidity of “pre-season scouting reports.”
This post demonstrates a real prudishness about sex that reinforces some of the worst aspects of Yale’s sexual culture. That “awkward cringe-inducing feeling” to which you allude is a symptom of the same problem that makes victims of rape feel reluctant to raise a case against their assailant, the same problem that prevents those who are questioning their sexuality from feeling comfortable discussing it even with friends, the same problem that reduces sexual discourse to pillow talk, appropriate only for darkened bedrooms and bathroom stalls at clubs. This culture of silence is, ultimately, what has led you to believe that the Sex@Yale Initiative is fated to become a haven for nymphomaniac exhibitionists waiting to unleash themselves on Yale’s sexual neophytes, and to publish your opinion in a public forum. This is a case of one cultural genre—the discourse of what is hip, the blog roll, the list of what is “in” and “out”—silencing another, more urgent genre.
All said, I would prefer to read people’s actual stories, rather than YDN features about sex at yale where the writer decides to interview 4 of her friends.
It seems pretty simple to me… if you are concerned that too many viewpoints different from your own will dominate, the simple answer is to contribute and make your voice heard.
This is essentially a democratic system, and if you don’t use your vote, nobody wants to hear you complain about the outcome.
Hannah couldn’t have said it better.
I’m not sure that the choice to remain abstinent on campus is supposed to “come across as attractive”. Those of us that will write about that aren’t trying to convince anyone that abstinence is the way to live life. The point of those stories is to offer ways to navigate the sexual culture at Yale if you want to remain abstinent. To show that people can be abstinent and not supremely unhappy, unattractive, unfulfilled, etc. Of course, it’s possible to just bumble through Yale trying to come up with your own ways to do that but reading the stories of others might facilitate finding them.
I’m disappointed by this blog post which is another example of complaining but not helping. Why not invite your hopefully diverse readership to write for the initiative? Then the site can be as representative as possible.
I don’t think she’s concerned about viewpoints different from her own. This post is not expressing fear of hearing other people talk about sex — read it a bit more carefully, and you’ll see that it points out some pretty obvious and understandable obstacles that the initiative will face.
It’s true–we really are committed to publishing a wide range of perspectives and voices.
Want to write? Email us at sexatyale@gmail.com.
sex@yale isn’t about spreading salacious sex tales; it’s about giving incoming (and existing) students an honest look at a culture that is much more complex than a sex signals presentation or a short film. we’re just trying to make the sexual culture a happier, more respectful place where everyone can feel accepted and comfortable. i hope you and your readers will help!
I totally hear your concerns. I just wanted to chime in though that I know some of the folks involved in putting together this website (there are a bunch of different committees working on things like finding writers, designing the layout, etc etc), and I think it’s their goal to make it as representative as possible – in other words, they’re worried about some of the same things you are. While no initiative can be perfect, in this case there are so many people working so hard and so thoughtfully to positively contribute to our campus culture, that I can’t imagine it won’t be great. And it will only be improved through the help of every Yalie who’s interested in participating! You (by which I mean the writer of this post but also the generic ‘you’) should totally email them about writing if you’re interested (it will all be anonymous), but also, you should totally email them if you just have concerns about what the project will look like. They really want to hear from everyone, and I bet would be really happy to meet with anyone interested to further discuss.
So it might be true that, in SOME of the more risque Sex Week workshops, less sexually active or adventurous voices might get silenced. Or those individuals might choose to refrain from going to Sex Week events at all. But that’s exactly what this initiative is going to address, rather than just bringing those issues online… We’re going to provide a space in which a much greater diversity of voices can be heard, and sexual experiences shared, in a discreet and supportive environment. I’m positive that this initiative will be an amazing resource, to anyone who approaches it with an even slightly open mind.
Also, just personally– as a prefrosh, I would have labeled myself abstinent, although not religious (that might not be as rare as you think). Yet I was no less interested in dating, and I would have been extremely interested, and grateful, to have a resource like the sex@yale initiative to help me navigate the Yale scene from Day 1.
Your ignorance is appalling. Not only are there a surprising number of people who label themselves abstinent for entirely non-religious reasons (M Lee), there are also many religions that do not require abstinence. Your assumption that all religious people are abstinent is short-sighted.
Uh. Really? Obviously this article is correct, and it’s a terrible idea. If you don’t want to have sex, I don’t think you need to be reading about how not to do it. If you are looking to get laid, you probably shouldn’t be turning to Mary Miller and friends to help you out. Of course, if Salovey were involved, I’d feel differently. Respect.
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