The Bullblog Unknown: a visit to Cafe Nine
Are you into having your ass glued to a barstool by years’ old alcohol residue? Do you swoon for smelly middle-aged men holding ever so fiercely onto their youth? Do you like new-age electro with postlapsarian, sadomasochistic lyrics? If so, You should check out Cafe Nine on State Street. Generally, I am a pretty socially open-minded person. I explore the full range of Yale and New Haven’s seedy environs—from Modern Love to Zeta to Hula Hanks. But, to be quite honest, I’ve never stumbled across a dive quite as grimy or depressing as this one. It wasn’t really my scene and I don’t plan to go back, but this jaunt into townie nightlife/apocalyptic middle age was definitely… interesting …
When I arrived, the sleazy, inebriated bartender examined my I.D. with lighter (hi-tech, I know) and told me I looked like a criminal. Really, dude? You and half of the people in your bar look like you were just released from prison. To his credit, I stuck out like a sore thumb. I wasn’t even wearing a Led Zepplin t-shirt tucked into my jeans or beady, tinted child molester glasses!
After I sat down and began chugging sipping my drink, trying to ignore the creepy stares, unpleasant smells, and Bob Marley/Hula medley playing in the background, the night’s scheduled entertainment began. The band, called X Pun X, was kind like an S&M version of Depeche Mode. Two older guys in homemade t-shirts that said “Get on the wave” played keyboards and moaned into a microphone. Someone should really let them know that repeatedly raising your arms into an X formation while intermittently grabbing your crotch does not constitute a dance move. I only stayed for one song, although its theological exploration of “temptation, salvation, and divine knowledge” was deeply thought provoking. The lyric “I am naked and so are you” sent me over the edge. I replied in my head, “um….no thank you,” and bolted out the door.
In my mad dash back to Yaledom, I almost took out sixtyish-year-old man nervously pacing outside the bar, listening to his iPod, and holding two wine glasses. He looked at me like a deer in the headlights. Maybe it was just the booze or the pitiful scenes I just witnessed, but it seemed like he was waiting for someone found on Craigslist or some other cyber pathway to anonymous lovin’. That’s when it occurred to me exactly what Club Nine is: a place where balding ghosts of an era long past drink themselves into oblivion and attempt vehemently to salvage a tarnished youth—from the music, to the clothes, to the girls.
But guys, after the Jameson wears off and your one night stand takes the bus back to her mom’s house, you will still be old and unremarkable. Every dream does not come true—not at Cafe Nine.
Tags: bars new haven, bullblog unknown, club nine new haven, club nine yale, guest blogger
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You didn’t even give the place a good shot. Café Nine has some great shows. Trying to classify the venue’s crowd off a beer’s sip and shitty song is lazy and inconsiderate to the people frequenting the bar.
FTR, Modern Love sucks.
This cat is hilarious. He did stick out like a sore thumb though. Brand new hipster leather jacket, matching shoes and indie haircut. I ran into him coming down Crown street and thought he was a lost Yalie. I guess i was right. His exotic looking beard begged him to go to Firehouse 12 and seemed in distress as if this young lad would be incapable of protecting her in the deep dark regions of the Ninth Square. He’s right though … it was a weird crowd that night. As for the grime….. his store bought look will never buy him the actual experience he thinks he’s looking for.
Cafe Nine has a great vibe, it’s too bad that you couldn’t see that. Many legendary performers have played there.
Taken from their myspace…
We have hosted hundreds of diverse national and regional acts such as: Glen Tilbrook (of Squeeze), Agent Orange, Rocket From The Tombs, The Dodos, MGMT, Junior Boys, Mates of State, Old Crow Medicine Show, Los Straitjackets, Wolf Parade, Juliana Hatfield, Dead Moon, Wanda Jackson, Dave Alvin, The Blasters, T-Model Ford, King Khan & The Shrines, Wayne Hancock, Honeyboy Edwards, The Iguanas, Marshall Crenshaw, Heavy Trash, Jay Reatard, Deer Tick, John Doe (of X), Bill Kirchen, Big Sandy and His Flyright Boys, Fred Eaglesmith, Wreckless Eric & Amy Rigby, The Dirtbombs, BR549 and tons more!
They must be doing something right!
Fairly accurate review. However on the right night they can have really great local and national touring bands and better quality of patron, plus taken as a whole the staff are good dudes. And on most nights there’s usually a complete absence of Yalies, which is nice.
I love how yalies step outside of their hand fed, maid and butler little bubbles and actually find out that not every place is groomed with a fine tooth comb.. There are many great qualities about places like Cafe 9. Just because the bar doesn’t fit your cookie cutter hula hanks mold doesn’t make it a terrible establishment. Yale students need to stop acting like they own new haven and everything they don’t understand,(yes, im saying yale students are ignorant to reality) If the bar was located in the center of campus then you can complain but its far away from yale and all it’s cleanliness. Im surprised he actually walked there and didn’t have a car service bring him.
Yes, we grimy townies are very sorry you decided to venture out of the perimeters of Yale, too. Next time just stay there!
And for any yalies reading this, it wouldn’t kill you to leave a decent tip once in a while
You have to give Cafe Nine credit – they are one of the few places around that regularly promotes live music and supports local and regional bands. You could have checked their schedule, researched the bands scheduled, and gone on a night that was more up your alley. Yes, it’s a dive bar, when did college kids get too cool for dive bars? As Jon pointed out some good bands occasionally play there. If you get nervous when you’re not in your social comfort zone – as it appears this author does – then stick to toads place. But if you’re confident enough to branch out once in a while, and you like live music in a small venue, keep an eye out for a show you might like.
HAHAHAHA… I love how this very self-consciously sarcastic piece, in which the writer fully embraces the fact that he has no reason to be there and isn’t at all similar to the target crowd is just receiving massive criticism. Also- to all those spouting anti-Yale vitriol, remember that you’re reading the blog of a Yale student-produced, Yale student-focused publication.
this article didn’t come off as a “self-consciously sarcastic piece.” it seemed like a hit job. cafe 9 isn’t everyone’s scene, and it doesn’t have to be, but it’s a fine establishment that’s dedicated to providing live music and entertainment almost every day of the year. when you book that often, not every night is going to be fantastic, but cafe 9 tends be a good bet if your open-minded about music. xpunx, a middle-aged local duo who seem to be influenced by alien conspiracies, dreams of moving out of their parent’s basements and rod torfulson’s armada featuring herman menderchuk, are certainly not a good representation of what cafe 9 has to offer.
Hey Y,
Good point, article was geared to yale students, and was simply meant to be humorous. Who knows why others read the Herald – I read it bc I live next door to yale, and have a number of friends who are grad or phd students, or who work at yale. Its a great source of info about new buildings going up, etc, which affect not only the students but others as well. Anyway, the article is partly accurate.. total dive bar, older crowd, can be sloppy, etc. I’ve been in the place prob 3 times the past 5 yrs. However, for the interest of students who like live music, and dont mind venturing away from the typical college hangouts, if you keep your eye out on their schedule and do some research, you might catch a really good regional jazz or blues band, up-and-coming indie band, etc. (Ex/ check out Eilen Jewell playing there Feb 12). There aren’t that many places around that offer live music so its good to support them. The “massive criticism” towards the author only reflected the humorous, sarcastic tone in which the article was written.
In defense to cafe 9. This is a landmark institution for the music scene in New Haven. You basically can hear live music everynight of the week. From hip-hop to punk and all the rest of the genres of music! Yes, the decore may not be the best as your “beverly hills” but if you want a pretty looking place with no character you should stay up near campus. As for checking id’s from the bartender as you must know this is a State Law and if caught they run the risk of being closed like what happened to Toads Place a couple of years ago. Lastly, the bartender you are referring to doesn’t even drink! I really think it would server justice to the rest of the yalies to do a second review and not make comments because you don’t like leaving the comfort of Yale! What’s next you going give your 2cents about Rudy’s!
Oh, the Bullblog LOVES Cafe Nine. Unparalleled frites!
cafe nine rules! they have have hosted some of the best shows new haven has ever been lucky enough to seen, plus they have great djs!!!! I caught a couple happy hour dj sets there, some reggae once from a dude named C-love, i think? and a really dope hip hop set once by this guy UB, he was playing all underground cuts, new stuff, I never would have heard anywhere else, cafe nine is a great place to hear music that I guess yalies wouldn’t know about until it made it onto mtv
We would never insult Rudy’s… That I can promise you. Big fans.
Rudy’s is just as dirty…especially whn you’re trying to have sec in the phone booth.
Cafe 9 is an amazing little club. I disagree with Clayton’s narrow minded assessment. Unfortunately, in the blogosphere everyone gets there 15 minutes of fame. I’m really looking forward to the Lord Fowl and Old Man Lady Luck show this Sat!
maybe this was supposed to be a sarcastic tone. but really, it appeared to me that this was a sheltered yale student who doesn’t venture out of his comfort zone and doesn’t appreciate a good dim-lit dive bar. and believe me, they have their place!
there’s plenty of great shows happening there, too. sure, not all the time, but not every night can be a winner.
i don’t want to be too nit-picky, but to me it just seems like he’s giving off the wrong impression and bashing the clientele based on staying there for barely a night. it just doesn’t seem like a fair swipe. maybe someone a bit more accustomed to places like this would give a more accurate review.
if people looked at him funny it’s probably because it’s usually pretty easy to spot a yalie. he probably looked completely out of his element! this article also gives me the impression that yale students are easily scared by a slice of (real) life they don’t understand.
I suppose that it’s true what they say – you can be the most intelligent person in the world when it comes to academics; but that still doesn’t mean you know anything.
This entire article comes off as snooty, self important, and un-informed. Frankly, I think it’s an embarrassment to the Yale student population. Plenty of people who go to Yale don’t feel they’re above going to a “dive bar” now and again. You may be at an Ivy League school, but let’s be serious, going to bars and meeting people is part of what college is about. And God forbid you have to get off your high horse and actually interact with other human beings who don’t frequent your country club. You may actually *gasp* learn a little something about the world and the nature of life.
Feeling the need to look down your nose at people who aren’t just like you never leads to anything positive.
Assuming that you can judge an entire establishment by the band that’s playing there or the one night that you popped in for a moment is pretty unfair. I can completely understand if Cafe 9 just wasn’t your kind of place – because Hula Hanks isn’t my kind of place – but rather than write a derogatory review that is based more on your own personal prejudices than any facts about the bar, perhaps you should just hit up another establishment next time.
You can’t judge a place based on one night especially if you were there just for a weekly open mic kind of thing. Cafe 9 is one of the very few venues in The New Haven area that presents all forms of original music. Cafe 9 is a vital part of the real CT music scene. I feel bad for this writer because it seems as if he was a little frightened leaving the comfort of his zip code. It is people like this guy that make growing/developing a town/gown music scene a real up hill battle. It is insulting enough on local venues and bands that YALE tears down townie posters that have been put around campus.
XpunX probably only played 3 songs and they would have been done long before you sipped away your first drink. They are strange characters – I agree with that ..but nice guys …and one of them actually once owned a small music venue in the state…It would have been pretty cool if the writer had explored the back story of The Venue and the people there …instead of getting scarred and running back to campus with his tail between his legs.
How adventurous you are clayton.
You should win a pulitzer for your
bravery in your field reporting.
Pussy.
well put paul.
wow, what a laughably pretentious and ignorant article. kid, you don’t have a clue. i also highly doubt your claims of being “socially open-minded.” next time do your homework before insulting/making unfounded assumptions about an establishment, their staff and their patrons.
Actually, the “sleazy, inebriated bartender” is a charismatic gentleman with a heart of gold and a sense of humor that you unfortunately didn’t understand. He’s exactly the kind of bartender one would want to visit week after week in a comfortable neighborhood dive bar. Also, he doesn’t drink. What an informative little article.
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