This week, Toad’s is hosting a two-part local music series called “Raptoberfest” and “Rocktoberfest”. Since I know absolutely nothing about the local New Haven music scene, all I can do is judge these bands by their names, and while the rock bands seem fairly straightforward (I imagine that “the Crossing” will sound exactly like the Fray, and that a local teen mosh pit will occur during “the Rampage” set), Raptoberfest is where it’s at, name-wise. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that “Mootza-Rell” is referencing mozzarella cheese, and while I totally respect that, you’d think that for one of the most dangerous college towns in America, the local music scene would be producing something a little harder (Gouda? You could spell it Good-a — just throwing out ideas on the cheese theme). I personally, however, plan to take a page from “Bacardi Rob” when I start my rapping career. I think “Popov Gabrielle” pretty much says it all.

But seriously, if you’re into supporting local bands, buy tickets here. Raptoberfest starts at 8 on Thursday, and Rocktoberfest is at 6 on Friday.